


Circle

by NyxSolei



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Domestic Violence, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-07-29 05:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16257299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxSolei/pseuds/NyxSolei
Summary: Wonshik is a mechanic and Taekwoon is unhappy with his love life.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a lot of comments <3

The smell of gas mixes with the hot air of the summer. It’s choking senses, but after a while it’s bearable. Fresh and nearly dried sweat joins in the heavy smells from the garage. 

The red haired wipes another wet sheet from his forehead, smiling proudly at the masterpiece in front of him. He places his gloves somewhere besides him, and even though they  _ were _ supposed to cover him from heat and dirt, his hands are both burnt  _ and _ grease filled.

The model in front of him is a real beauty, a Hyundai Accent, 95’, in purple. They’re rare over here, and even seeing one makes him satisfied. He just finished cleaning it inside out, now all that’s left is renewing the colour. Out of habit, he took between his teeth the tongue piercing, toying with it from side to side as he decides what to do first.

“Wonshik-ah!” It’s too bad his trail of thought has been cut by his boss. 

“Be right there!” He yells back, taking a last look at this work of art and promising to get back to it.

He walks in and it seems like there’s a customer with the old man in the office, so he wipes his face again, unknowingly spreading black mucus across it. Wonshik bows to the customer who seems stoic.

“Wonshik-ah, this man right here has something good for you.” The old man says, coughing out the cigarettes he smoked together with him just a while ago. Another habit.

“I’ll be happy to take a look.” Wonshik offers, and even though the customer says nothing, Wonshik follows him with a smile to the car.

“Woah.” He says, astounded by the beauty in front of him.

“Fuck,” He uttered, followed by saying sorry, “This is such a beautiful car. Is this yours?”

The costumer shakes his head, and his voice is as calm as his complexion seems to be.

“It’s.. His.” He gestures at a much larger man. He’s talking loudly on the phone, and when the two turn to look at him, he grants them a quick glance and continues talking. Wonshik dislikes him, he looks like pain in the ass.

“Why is the job under your name? Are you dating or something?” Wonshik asks before taking a walk around the car. It looks spotless, beautiful. 

“..Can you do it?” The other ignores the question, “Tell me how much.”

Wonshik shrugs, “I need to make a full checkup for that. Can one of you come back later after I’ll do it?” He asks, taking another glance at the larger man.

 

Taekwoon sighs.

“He was looking at me strange, what did you tell him?” The man grunts as he moves on the couch, bringing Taekwoon closer to his lap. It’s too hot for his liking, but Taekwoon has no choice but to cuddle with him. He gets upset if he doesn't.

“I told him the car is yours.” He isn't lying. Taekwoon didn't answer whether they're dating or not, since he knows his boyfriend doesn't want to be known, and it's understandable. His parents aren't approving of Taekwoon, and he's too scared to tell anyone else. So, for now, Taekwoon is a secret. There’s something exciting in this, being only  _ his _ .

“And? There must be something else.”  Taekwoon knows the other is expecting something. He always says that Taekwoon has an 'unexplained love’ towards ugly freaks that have tattoos, or colored hair. Maybe it’s because they’re doing something extraordinary, when Taekwoon is all but that.

He shakes his head and tries to watch the movie.

“Whatever, tomorrow you’re on your own with that ugly freak.” His boyfriend huffs, crossing arms, “I know you like people like him, so be careful.” He says, but Taekwoon pays more attention to his cat. His boyfriend is always paranoid like that, but it’s Taekwoon’s fault for not showing enough love.

 

“You can pay me half upfront, and the rest when I’m done.” Wonshik taps the car happily, leaning on it lightly. Taekwoon stares at him and wonders whether the black dirt is stuck to his forehead at all times, or it gets renewed.

“Okay.” Taekwoon says.

“Oh, but there’s a problem.” Wonshik is quick to add, “The car is not signed under your name, so I have to have your boyfriend’s consent for this pricing and payment.” The other twitches uncomfortable.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” He speaks quietly, “I can't call him right now, he’s working.”

“What is he doing?” The tattooed one asks.

“That’s none of your business.”

“Oh, harsh.” Wonshik makes a face, crossing his arms tightly, “Don't worry, I won't pry into your business.” He shrugs it off and walk around the car, keeping eye contact with the other at all time, “I’ll tell you what, get the paper signed, and I’ll start working on it meanwhile. You don't look like the not paying kind.” The mechanic jokingly offers. Taekwoon has no choice but to agree.

 

The apartment is awfully quiet. It seems like he has a long day at work. Taekwoon indulges himself in his cat, and making dinner. Jongup is always hungry for Taekwoon’s food, and Taekwoon is always happy to give him some extra attention. Being an actor, Jongup has a special diet, and the last few times Taekwoon messed it up, his boyfriend became really angry, telling him how he could have throw his career, all of nothing. It’s regretful, but Taekwoon learned to make dishes Jongup would eat too.

His cat, a black one with bright green eyes curls around his leg, purring at it. He picks the feline gently and brings it close to his chest, just in time for lightning to strike outside. Summer storms are in again.

“Welcome home.” He says as the door opens, unveiling the tall man at the edge of it. He seems tired, incredibly so.

Jongup sighs, drops off his bag on the floor carelessly, and walks to Taekwoon, sinking into the scent of the man. He hugs him tightly from behind, and Taekwoon can register clearly someone else’s smell on Jongup. He says it’s only because of work, and he shouldn't worry.

“Babe.” Jongup speaks in low voice, and the latter knows perfectly what it means. Jongup leans to his neck and soon enough he feels instead of hot breaths, hot tongue that slides across the delicate skin.

Taekwoon doesn't want this, but it’s the least he can give to his boyfriend. Otherwise, he’d be asked why he doesn't love him, and why it’s so one-sided.

He eyes the papers Wonshik gave him one last time before shutting his eyes and allowing Jongup to roam him freely, as he wishes.

 

Wonshik looks dumbfounded at the cheque being handled to him. It takes long minutes before his eyes go up to Taekwoon again. His face is smeared with black in all kind of shapes and volumes, but the latter have seen him enough in the past three days to know he should get used to it. 

“I can't accept this.” Wonshik firmly says and declines the offering hand. He ignores Taekwoon and heads towards his beloved Hyundai. There are still some tweaks to be made, and since he  _ won't _ be taking this job, he can play in his spare time.

A shadow is following him, silently. He can feel Taekwoon’s eyes on him, and he hates it. He doesn't like being watched when working. 

“Please.” He hears the man behind him plead, and upon turning around he notices how shaky Taekwoon looks. Odd, he doesn't seem like the type to be this stressed over something.

“I can't, you have to sign the papers, and unless you do that, I’m not allowed to lay a finger on your beauty.” His eyes are scanning the man in front of him, and the shakiness seems to worsen. Wonshik frowns.

“..Jongup really needs his car.” Is all he gets from Taekwoon. Wonshik bites his lip, strokes a hand through his greasy hair, and finally takes the cheque, marking it with oily fingers.

He has never seen anyone so stressed about a car that’s not even  _ his _ .

“You better get them signed.” He tells him, and Taekwoon nods, reassuring he would.

 

“Babe.” Jongup is late again, and God how Taekwoon is tired. He was going through different stores the whole day long, since his boyfriend insisted that he needs clothes, as there will be a party soon, and Taekwoon has to look presentable. It’s not like they would act as a couple in the party, but Jongup tells him that without him, it’s too hard. And while there are many young girls that smear over him, Taekwoon knows he would stay faithful, he won't do anything like that. Taekwoon is  _ satisfactory _ .

Taekwoon looks up from his cat in his lap, finding Jongup towering above him. The cat jumps away, frightened by the figure. Taekwoon eyes the man, and opens his arms wide, accepting the warmth radiating from him.

“I was at the mechanic today.” Taekwoon nearly whispers, carding through the other’s soft locks. Jongup just colored his hair to light, and Taekwoon thinks it’s beautiful.

“Mhm..”  He answers, voice low as he nuzzles to his neck, just like last night. Taekwoon has to take a deep - shaky - breath in order to speak again.

“The mechanic asked you to sign something.. Or else he won't work on it..” Taekwoon tries to say without quivering under the rough touches.

“Why didn't you take care of it already?” Jongup abruptly flinches from him, looking at him angrily, “I need the car ready, Taekwoon!” 

Taekwoon drops his look and collects his arms to one another, giving an apologetic look.

“Are you that incapable that it’s still not done?” His boyfriend growls, and grabs Taekwoon’s wrist, yanking him along to their bedroom. He throws him on the bed, and grants him another growl.

“I trusted you with my most valuable possession and this is how you repay my trust?  _ This _ ?” He’s shouting now, and the words ring through the latter’s mind. He knows Jongup is right, always been and always will be.

“Do you want to humiliate me?” The man grabs clutter from the desk and throws it, directing straight at the curled up one on the bed.

“How am I supposed to go to the party without my car?  _ How _ , Taekwoon?” Jongup finds a few books and throws them as well, until finally he reaches to hold the man’s wrist and yanks it upwards, revealing the teary face.

“You better take care of that tomorrow.” Lastly his boyfriend warns, and walks out of the room furiously.

Taekwoon is whimpering in bed, quietly as possible so the other won't hear him. Jongup told him that crying is for weaklings, and that he shouldn't indulge in such actions.

His cat appears from the small opening and walks affectionately towards him, resting his back and head on Taekwoon’s jittery chest, heaving unevenly as he tries to settle his breath.

What was he thinking? He ruined a great moment between them with his incapability of taking care of Jongup’s car. He has to be good at  _ something _ ,  or else he would have no value to his boyfriend.

Taekwoon doesn't work, because Jongup says he’s too worried that someone might try something with him.

Taekwoon can't cook, because he had no one to learn from as his parents aren't very interested with him.

All he has is his degree, and Jongup.

He has to be good, at least at  _ this _ .

 

Wonshik raises an eyebrow at the signed papers. The man in front of him exhibited dark marks beneath his eyes and a much paler skin tone. His shirt and pants seem to be mismatched in color, and many uncared for folds sport the fabric. Wonshik scans him well, until his eyes rest on a red mark on the man’s wrist. The hour is pretty late, and it could be just the lighting inside the garage, but something tells him this isn't a matter of shading.

However, being a simple worker, Wonshik does not get involved in customer’s private lives.

“Come back next week, I’ll call when I’m done.” Is all he says, and Taekwoon seem to exhale in peace. What an odd man. He thinks of the obnoxiously loud boyfriend of his and realises that they’re an odd pair too.

 

Placing all of the tools back in the box, the mechanic wipes sweat from his face, and yet again painting it black unknowingly. As he’s about to turn off the lights and lock the place, his phone vibrates and an upbeat rap song plays.  _ Hakyeon _ . The man knows better than to keep his hyung waiting on line, as he knows he won't hear the end of it.

“Hyung.” He picks it up, and on the other line a relatively calm voice speaks back.

“Are you working late again?” His friend asks him meanwhile he does what he intended from the very beginning - going home.

“I was just fixing a few things.” He shrugs, and then realises Hakyeon can't actually see him, “Are you working late again?” Wonshik shoots the question back.

“Yes, it’s tiring, really. There’s a party next week and I really don't want to go alone.” Hakyeon sounds like he’s begging the younger without even using proper words for that.

“Hyung, there are going to be only actors there, I can't come, I shouldn't come, I won't fit in.” He closes the door, making sure the electronic locks are working and turning on the alarm. Done. He can go home.

“Wonshik-ah…” Hakyeon pleads, “I really don't want to be alone there, they’re all so cold an mean and you’re not!” He flatters on purpose. Wonshik finds it funny.

“I have nothing proper to wear, and I really won't fit.” The mechanic tries to reason as he gets on his motorcycle.

“I will take care of it, I promise. I won't leave your side either.” 

He met Hakyeon when he moved here. They were neighbors, as Wonshik lived in the attic of the highest apartment, and Hakyeon owned the nearby apartment. They’ve met and interacted first when Wonshik found the latter cowering under large shopping bags filled with all kinds of groceries. He helped him, and in return Hakyeon made him the best coffee he ever tasted. It was easy ever since to talk to him, as they saw one another on daily basis.

“Fine.” Wonshik gives in, “The things I do for you, hyung…”

The younger is sure he can hear Hakyeon's smile through the phone. He bids him farewell and drives back home.

 

A party, huh. Wonshik thinks. He haven't been to one since high school, and even then he was one of those to stand in the corner and let others have fun. He always stood out due to his wildly colored hair, and his large collection of piercings and tattoos. He wonders whether the media would catch him, but drops the thought since it’s not allowed to show someone so unconventional as him. Everything screamed different about him, and he likes it that way - boths of his hands were covered in beautiful tattoos to the fullest, and his tongue, as well for the left brow pierced in silver. Maybe Hakyeon will ask him to take off the piercings, it’s been a really long time since he was without them, it would feel  _ wrong _ .

That night he tries to sleep without his silver stubs and finds it extremely frustrating. He had been tossing and turning all for the sake of trying it out, and his damn pride that won't let him break down and take them back. The things he does for his hyungs sometimes…

 

Taekwoon comes back a week later, exactly, looking much better than their last meeting. His black buttoned shirt is neatly placed over his frail figure, and the jeans are hugging his slim legs tightly. He looks more alive.

“It’s all set, I even polished it. You can tell your boyfriend I did that for free.” Wonshik taps the car proudly.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Taekwoon protests, but he knows there’s no reason to when Wonshik isn't blind, and he’s sure that the two are dating.

“It was really a pleasure taking care of this.” The mechanic smiles, but the latter seems to care less about his warm display of emotions.

“He should be here any minute to take it..” Taekwoon simply replies.

“Why did you come if he’s here too?” He asks, wiping off sweat, and leaving black on his chin. Taekwoon gave up on telling him.

“Only Jongup is allowed to drive. I’m not a very good driver and might leave a scratch.” He looks away, searching for his boyfriend who was supposed to be here  at least fifteen minutes ago.

“So? It happens. That’s why I have a job.” He says jokingly, “You should drive it then, I would see this,” Wonshik gestures at the car, “And you more often.”

Taekwoon frowns. Is Wonshik flirting with him? 

“Taekwoon.” Jongup calls and heads straight to them. The slightly more intimidating one of the couple takes a good look at the final product, checking every curve and every newly polished spot. Eventually, he looks up from the wheels and turns to Wonshik, “It’s fine.” Is all he says, then turns to Taekwoon, “This would do for the party.”

Taekwoon nods, and Wonshik can see how hypnotized the man looks. That’s the face of someone in love. 

“I heard that this Cha Hakyeon is bringing some friends outside the industry,” Jongup gets inside and waits for the other to do so too, “So you will have someone to talk to.”

“Are you an actor?” Wonshik interrupts as the couple sits in.

Jongup looks at him confused, why is Wonshik talking to him. He then looks to Taekwoon, who hurriedly explains he is, and how he shouldn't overhear like this.

Wonshik grins, “Sorry. Have a safe drive!” He waves them off, and they're far from the garage again.

 

Wonshik smile doesn't go down. At least he could see his new friend in the party again. He wonders whether he should tell Hakyeon or not. As he drives back home, he decides against it, not wanting his hyung to start rumors around the couple that denied their relationship.

He goes to sleep with his piercings, content.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave many comments below ^^

The attic is stuffy, filled with all sorts of different dirt. Whether it is the dust hiding behind the few furniture he has, the grease and oil he always brings from work, or just random trash that flies in from the single window. Hakyeon told him countless times that he should move in with him, and ditch the inhabitable storage room, but Wonshik loves the sense of freedom.

Everything inside the attic consists out of things he found on the way home, or the way to work. People tend to throw away good furniture for nothing, and being the capable person he is, Wonshik finds it indulging to fix the broken.

The futon is stacked _almost_ neatly next to the few boxes of clothes he owns, but never wears. Occasionally, the mechanic only sports his working clothes, that consist of a used-to-be white tank, and oversized pair of pants in dark blue.

He drops his bag and helmet near the door, the floor creaks in response. Gently, he tries organizing the things in his bag on the shelves stacked on the left side of the door. They’re full, and there’s rarely even place for the things _already_ on them. He put his water bottle carefully, trying not to knock over a few old boxes of unused coffee, then roughly places his keys on the notch of a huge lighter. This is the only way to hide his smoking habit from Hakyeon.

The floor responds to every step of his, not that he makes so many of them, but it makes him wonder whether the hyung living beneath him can hear those annoying sounds or not. Wonshik got used the the wooden noises, and now he finds it homely.

After a quick shower in the second room in his apartment, he unfolds the futon and rests over it. It’s rare that he goes home early as this, even though most people are already asleep by this time. He looks at his phone, noting the hour is just a little past midnight. He should get some good sleep, as the party is tomorrow and he needs to look ' _ravishing_ ’, as Hakyeon names it.

It’s warm tonight, and the sounds from different kinds of small animals reach his ears from the nearby trees. He lives in the fourth floor, that should have been a storage floor, but as he rented it, they’ve added a window, for good measure. Now, he can hear the street below him, filled with people laughing, chatting, walking by. Animals - all sort of them, in addition to different weather situations. It should rain tonight, and he decides to close the window.

 

“I’m going to go with Daehyun, and you can catch a cab.” Jongup tells him, mouth half full with some protein drink. He has been working out a lot lately, and he looks much more built than the last time he showed up for a party. After all, he’s still a ' _rising star_ ’, as he calls himself, and has to prove his good looks and acting skills.

Taekwoon nods in understanding. There’s nothing new in this request. Jongup never comes with Taekwoon, as he doesn't want people to start spreading rumors. It was enough a few years back when he dated someone else, they were snapped together, and the agency gave him hell because of that. Taekwoon would never bring him trouble, because he understands how harsh this world is. One little slip-up, and Jongup’s career could be over. Taekwoon would never forgive himself if that happens.

“He’s going to be here in an hour or two, Yongguk also. Find something to do until then.” Jongup tells him, finishing the drink and throwing the bottle to the sink carelessly. Then, without allowing Taekwoon to say anything or react, he reaches to him, pulling him close and nuzzling up to his neck. The cat watches it from afar, not wanting to get close to Jongup.

“I love you babe.” The taller whispers, and Taekwoon is _smitten_ . He _lives_ to hear those words, to know that his boyfriend is true to him. It’s rare that the latter talks about his emotions, but that’s too, understandable as he gets emotionally invested in his work. Jongup says it’s tiring to express his emotions all day when they’re not real, but Taekwoon knows, and he’s sure of it, that his boyfriend really loves him.

Even if he’s useless.

Even if he’s incapable.

 

His hyung is fussy as always. This season, he read in his horoscope it would be good for him to make some changes in his appearance, so he dyed his hair to soft golden locks, and walks with bright blue contact lenses on. His apartment is spacious, and he can allow himself walk from side to side constantly, worrying over the younger. His face sports a furrowed brow and discontent complexion. Wonshik finds it funny, he looks exactly how he looked in the past before dates.

For some reason, Hakyeon found peace in confiding with Wonshik before he had dates, in the past. He would text him all day long, asking the same questions over and over, fussing, fussing, _fussing_. Wonshik learned that he shouldn't pay much attention to it, as Hakyeon is attractive and a wonderful social butterfly - on the contrary of himself.

Hakyeon learned that asking Wonshik what to wear will bring him to a fashion disaster that consist of black, black and torn wardrobe in black. Not because it was his favorite color, rather than the only thing that matches that distasteful red hair Wonshik is always with. Trying to convince the younger to do anything else would earn him a laugh, and some eye rolls.

“Please, just this once?” The older asks, his voice begging, and the other simple laughs again.

“Wonshik-ah,” He tries a pet name, stopping in the middle of his march, in front of the seated man, “Please, I would send you to a hairdresser after this! I promise!” He cries out, and Wonshik does nothing but folding his arms and laugh some more.

“Please, please!” At this point, Hakyeon sinks to his knees and bows, begging formally. Wonshik quickly jumps off the high stool and brings him up.

“Fine.” He huffs out, and even though he smells like cigarettes - which Hakyeon _detests_ \- the older hugs him, excited and elated.

“Yes! Yes!” He calls out, jumping, “Thank you Wonshikie, you won't regret this!” He exclaims, and drags him forcefully out. Hakyeon only looks frail, but when the man is excited about _anything_ , he finds his hidden strength, somewhere within the slim, tanned limbs of his.

Wonshik sighs. It’s going to be interesting indeed.

Maybe Taekwoon won't recognize him at first with his hair painted all in dark purple and black. It has been a few good years since he changed anything about himself, Wonshik recalls, and decides that it can't be that bad. He probably just got used to the red.

 

It’s far too hot, even for a late afternoon, and walking to the hairdresser, Wonshik out of habit wipes his forehead, sweating already. He looks to the sky, seeing the sun setting slowly, breathing in the warm air. It’s great outside, and working most days, he rarely has time to notice the sky. It’s beautiful, graced with soft clouds that drape over the horizon. He tattooed a few on his back, as if reminding himself to look at the sky more, and less on dirty parts of the cars he gets.

He’s snapped out of his daze hearing soft voices from below. Wonshik stops, and even though Hakyeon is whining about being late, the younger hushes him and turns his heels to the alley where the sound originate from. He spots a dumpster, a few boxes and much more trash. It’s all covered in dirt, and smells horrible. There aren't even any cats in that alley, so the scent must be exceptionally revolting.

“What-” Hakyeon is still fussing, “Wonshik! I don't want to be late!” He cries out, only to be shushed again. As the older stops speaking, he can finally hear clearly the soft whines coming out of the large dumpster. He walks in, and his stomach jumps a few times, notifying him that any extra moments in here, he’d hurl, and that would earn him a never ending lecture.

“Hey..” His features soften to the tiny creature trapped in the large dumpster. He gives out a smile, “What are you doing here?” Wonshik asks, and seeing that the animal has a collar, he bites his lip, and brings the tongue piercing between his teeth.

The fragile creature looks at him with fear, and it takes a few steps deeper into the trash. It cried out in pain, and Wonshik immediately rushes to get it. He earns a nauseated look from Hakyeon who looks positively frustrated when he reaches inside and picks out a small, stuttering puppy.

He grins at it, and even though the tiny dog tries to escape from him, he holds it dearly and returns to Hakyeon. The dog momentarily helped him forget how repulsing the odor of this place is, but when he gets to Hakyeon, he can finally breathe and the puppy seems to relax a little.

“Kim Wonshik-” His hyung starts in a lecturing tone, only to be broken by the younger’s pout.

“He looks ditched. Someone threw this guy away, in the trash.” He explains, and starts walking towards where they wanted to.

“You can't be insinuating that you’re taking the puppy with you!” Hakyeon exclaims, but walks after him nonetheless. When the latter doesn't reply, he groans, “You’re living in an attic that you can cross in five steps, Wonshik! You can't take in a puppy! And from the trash!” Hakyeon is always so fussy, it’s irritating now.

“Hyung.” Wonshik begs, and he doesn't really need anymore words. He’s more a man of action than words. They continue their walk to the hairdresser, now as three.

 

Taekwoon plugs his earphones in, and rests against the bench. He sighs. He doesn't want to sweat in his suit, but on the other hand - he has no choice. Even in the shade, it’s warmer than usual. His raven hair starts to stick to his forehead, and the suit feels uncomfortable already. The man looks to the apartment from afar, and he’s sure he can see the figures of Daehyun and Yongguk, as well as his boyfriend’s.

He _has_ met the two before, and they didn't like him quiet much, but they were Jongup’s dear friends, so he couldn't do anything but let them be. Only a few months later did Jongup say that his presence makes them uncomfortable, since they’re far more wild than he is, and it feels like 'a brick is dragging us down’. Taekwoon understands, since he isn't a very interesting person anyway. It’s a bonus to him too, since it’s the only time when he can go and be outside without going to shops and having to inform Jongup exactly where he is.

He knows that his boyfriend cares about him a lot, and it’s only the little he can do in order to repay him.

He sits in silence, not even listening to anything on the earphones. A few hours pass this way until he finally calls up a cab, gets in and sets his way to the party.

 

The first thing he notices is how crowded it is. Perhaps it’s the loud music that blasts the whole duplex and roof the party is set in, or maybe it’s the actual amount of people. Taekwoon can't really put his finger on that. He gets in, showing the invitation and heads straight to the roof noticing that Jongup is already there with his other labelmates. Daehyun, Yongguk, Himchan, Junhong, Youngjae. They’re all there, laughing, looking happy as Jongup also laughs with them. Taekwoon’s heart flutters to the scene. His boyfriend is rarely this happy with him.

He sets in a place where he can watch from afar but keep himself busy too. He learned from other parties that rumors can start even if he’ll stare at Jongup for too long, or too intently.

The roof is tiled with glassy tiles, and lined with a tall, transparent fence. On the outskirts of it, there are some medium tropical trees, and soft LED lighting, shining like starlight.

He sits under one of the trees, on a bench offered to those who dislike being in the center. A reporter comes to him after a while, asking whether he’s the new model everyone is talking about, and Taekwoon softly declines the accusation.

The party seem to halt when they pass in whispers that Cha Hakyeon is here.

Taekwoon can hear murmurs of different people exclaiming in awe, how could this Hakyeon person act so and so, bring so and so. He isn't even sure he has seen that man in those parties. He knows that Cha is a successful actor, and ever since his debut, he had nothing but incredible movies and dramas - everything that Jongup dreams of.

That’s why Jongup hates him, and Taekwoon too. It causes him to break down many times, saying how unfair it is, and how Cha is nothing but a slut that sleeps around for roles. He says that it’s impossible for someone so _ugly_ to get such good jobs when he’s not that much time in the industry.

“Excuse me?” Someone says, and Taekwoon is back to the party occuring around him. His eyes lift from the floor, moving from black shiny shoes, to black tight pants, to a blazer that’s styled with different fake military pins. The face is recognizable, but Taekwoon can't make the click.

“Hello?” The man’s low voice is muffled by the loud beats, and the latter realizes that he hadn't said anything when the other asked for the first time.

“Yes?” Taekwoon asks back, looking finally at the dark purple hair, and the interesting piercings on the man’s brow.

“Can I sit?” The man says, gesturing at the bench. Taekwoon shrugs in reply, and only then the memory strikes him down.

His eyes widen, but he keeps his calm complexion. It’s that mechanic. The one that refused to work without Jongup’s consent.

“Why are you here?” Taekwoon asks, knowingly he sounds rude.

Wonshik smirks and brings a cigarette to his lips, yet to light it. What an odd man, Taekwoon thinks. Does he not care about his reputation at all?

“My friend didn't want to be alone, but he’s a real social butterfly, so I’m left alone.” He laughs bitterly, “And you?” Wonshik lights the cigarette, waving off the smoke, careful not to leave any next to his friend.

“That’s none of your business.” He simple replies, and looks away.

Wonshik laughs, and it bring him back to look at him, astounded.

“I should start translating that to something related to that boyfriend of yours.” Wonshik takes a drag and jokingly says, “How come you’re not with him? Are you two still denying it?”

“Please stop talking about this.” Taekwoon asks miserably, “I dislike the smell of cigarettes, it’s disgusting.” With that, the older gets up and mixes in the party.

 

Taekwoon wants to be alone in this sea of people. Frankly, he wants to be away from the person that knows so little about him, and yet reads him that well. He grabs a few shots of something alcoholic and heads inside, beneath the roof. He doesn't expect Jongup to be home tonight, nor does he expect him to pay attention to him right now. The man takes the stairs down, reaching to a large apartment, full of actors and other rising stars. He knows no one, and it’s best this way. He takes a seat on the sofa, away from the heart of the party, and drinks the fifth shot for today. At this point, his mind seem hazy, but not enough.

It’s common for him to cry at home after those kind of parties, even though he isn't sure why. Sadness that has no reason, as everything in his life is just as it should be - he lives on his own, with a boyfriend that loves him and works hard. He has the cat he always wanted, and the computer he always wanted, so everything is just _great_.

But tears keep falling, and this unsettling feeling is too stubborn. Jongup suggested once he'd go to a therapist, but Taekwoon denied the offer. He doesn't want to taint his life with therapy, because his life is _good_ . Taekwoon is _good_.

After that, Jongup simply told him to suck it up and quit crying. So he did, when Jongup was home.

Now he cries alone.

 

“That wasn't nice.” Taekwoon hears the already familiar voice, and groans, turning to the source of it to his left.

In the soft lighting inside, he can finally see how different Wonshik looks from the other times they’ve met. He could have passed for being an actor, if it wasn't for the piercings and tattoos that stick out from the tips of his clothes. Taekwoon wonders how much of the man’s body is actually tattooed, and whether the only piercings are on his face.

“You should stop ogling me, your boyfriend will get angry.” Wonshik snaps him out, from his subconscious scan of the other’s body.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Taekwoon says, but those words mean nothing, probably. And yet, he has a secret to keep, and so he will do.

 

“You look really lonely.” Wonshik comments after a while of relative silence between them. Taekwoon bites his lip. He isn't lonely, he’s _good_.

“I’m not lonely.” He replies, and takes another shot. Is it the sixth? He can't recall.

“I'm trying to be your friend, but I also know when to stop prying into other people’s business.” The younger gives him off a smile and gets up, “Stay safe, I’ll see you around.”

Wait, wait. Taekwoon thinks. He doesn't want to be alone right now. He can't even see that well anymore, and the noises from the party sound like one grand cacophony to him.

“What?” Wonshik asks.

“What?” Taekwoon asks back.

“You’re holding my hand.” The younger replies, and Taekwoon immediately drops his eyes to watch the scene. He _is_ holding Wonshik’s hand. When did he do that? His confused look triggers some laughter above him, and the voice sounds like it belongs to that mechanic, but he isn’t sure.

Someone asks him something, but he still looks at their linked hands. It feels odd, holding another hand, and not Jongup’s. His hand is much more bruised, shaped with beefy fingers, when his boyfriend’s is much more delicate and soft. Oh, his boyfriend.

He pulls his hand away, and looks at Wonshik with fear. Jongup won't like this.

“Where do you live?” Wonshik asks him again, perhaps for the third time, and only then the older registers that this is what he has been asked earlier.

He tells him the address, and some time later, he finds himself in a cab, with Wonshik starting at him with intent. As if Taekwoon will break like a ceramic decoration.

The streets move fast, faster than he’s used to, and it throws him off orientation for a little. He’s dizzy, but something- someone is holding him.

A couple of moments later he’s in his apartment.

 

Wonshik places the man on the couch, smiling at the daze. Taekwoon is drunk, and as a friend, he couldn't leave him alone. Throughout the drive, he heard from him that Jongup won't show up tonight, because of his friends, and that he should be home alone.

“Wonshik-ah.” Taekwoon calls, and it’s the first time he hears the older say his name, let alone in such adoration.

Wonshik hums in response, and crouches in front of the unfocused one. Taekwoon is stunning, even when peppered in red and his eyes are glazed. His dark hair sticks to his face, but those feline eyes are attractive nonetheless, even if hidden.

“Stay with me.” He says softly, “I don't want to be alone.”

Wonshik sighs, “I can't, your boyfriend won't like this.”

Taekwoon frowns, “I don't want to cry.” He says.

“Cry? Why would you cry?” He takes the liberty of moving some of the glued hair, uncovering the man’s eyes.

“When I’m alone, I’m crying.”

 

It sounds awful to Wonshik. So he stays.

He starts thinking that there might be something bothersome with Taekwoon’s boyfriend, as he carelessly left Taekwoon, and unaware of those tears. Maybe it’s the man himself, or maybe it’s Taekwoon, but something isn't right.

Wonshik decides to sleep on the sofa, while the older sleeps in bed. He will get up early tomorrow, and disappear before he would cause any trouble.

Yes, he would do that.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some domestic violence.

As he takes out his keys, small and happy steps knock on the wooden floor beneath the door. The tapping that greets him makes Wonshik’s heart flutter, and as he opens, the small pup jumps on him, releasing the most bile-some licking on his new owner.

“Hey, hey-” Wonshik calls, trying to pry the puppy away. He grins as the small, white pet calms down, not before leaving some of the alley's odor on the man. He still hasn't cleaned him, not having enough time between work and the party, and.. Taekwoon. Memories of last night fly by.

Taekwoon’s pained expression tugs his heart. His mind wanders to the sadness pouring from the man’s eyes, telling him he can't be alone, because he will cry. Because he’s scared.

Wonshik sighs, and pushes the little dog inside his cramped apartment. He sighs once again when the repulsive smell of what the puppy has done while he was gone. He looks strictly at the little one, brows furrowed.

“This can't be happening, okay?” The man tells him, as if the animal would understand. It moves it's head from one side to another, eyes locked on his owner.

 

Taekwoon sluggishly opens his eyes, moaning as his limbs move from side to side, reassuring that as he assumed, Jongup isn't here. His head pounds with a soft hum, as a memo to yesterday. Taekwoon is never good with alcohol, and even worse when he drinks it in order to forget himself. It’s a lot easier that way - he drinks, he blacks out and gets all the pain out of his system, then goes back to normal. It’s a form of self punishment, he thinks, for making others feel inconvenience because of him. 

The dewy sky remind him that the summer is soon to turn to fall, and that he should start wearing longer shirts.

It’s his favourite time of the year, because then no one asks what’s lying beneath the soft cloth. 

“Babe?” He hears Jongup calls, and Taekwoon prays that Wonshik isn't there. 

The raven hair is mismatched, and he combs it down as he emerges from the bedroom. Jongup looks tired too, but that’s expected when people spend a night partying. His lips heave a tired smile, the numb headache is still there. He presses his own cold hand to his temple, hoping it would calm it down.

“Welcome back.” He utters, and Jongup hums in response, taking off his shoes and heading towards the smaller man. He engulfs him with strong hands and takes in his scent.

He scrunches his nose, then takes a step back.

“Babe, you don't smell like yourself. Why?” He asks, and there’s still sweetness in his voice, which Taekwoon is thankful for.

“I haven't showered yet, it’s probably from the party.” The other replies, caressing softly his boyfriend’s cheek.

“Okay.” Jongup grins, then walks to the kitchen, leaving Taekwoon to his own whims.

 

“What if it’s sick, and it brought you Ebola home, and now you’re sick too and you’re going to die slowly and painfully?” Hakyeon whimpers, trying to escape from the amused puppy that seems to think it’s an invitation for a game. The mortified look on his hyung is something that no gold or diamonds could ever be equal to. Wonshik had to hold himself very hardly not to laugh at the hilarious, fussy ministrations.

“It doesn't look sick to me. It looks healthy.” The purple haired man says in a shrug. He whistles, and the pup comes forth, running towards him happily.

“Ew, Wonshik, it was in the dumpster!” Hakyeon scolds, watching the man pick the animal up and giving its tiny head a kiss. 

Many people mistake Wonshik for being cold due to his appearance, but all of it - piercings, hair colour and tattoos, are a personal fashion choice, rather than a personality statement. Wonshik is a man that has much love to offer, and much passion too. Those two things keep him up and running, happily going through his years, day by day. 

“I think I’m going to call it Badass.” He says, completely enamored with the dog, “He managed to scare you hyung, and you’re iron against everything.” He grins, watching the smaller try to escape his hold and run to the other.

“That’s a terrible name, as well as a terrible idea. You can't keep a dog when you live in the attic!” Hakyeon cries out as the puppy runs to him excitedly.

Wonshik hums, not really listening.

“I need to go to the workshop now. Can you watch him?” Before the latter has time to reply, Wonshik is out of the door, leaving Hakyeon dumbfounded with a new animal he has no idea how to take care of. He swallows as the puppy opens his mouth wide to yawn.

 

The air is humid, and working beneath various vehicles can be very warm. He wipes off the sweat, noticing that his working gloves are already torn and soaked both in grease, oil and other dirt. He makes a note to get new gloves soon, when those are absolutely unusable.

“Wonshik-ah!” His boss calls, and brings him out of his thoughts. Quickly, he yells a response and gets to the office.

“Yongguk forgot his tools, can you let him use your box?” The old man asks, and Wonshik glances towards his co-worker who wears an apologetic look. Wonshik nods and grants him a smile. This isn't the first time that people use his things, and he isn't possessive about them.

“My keys to the tool box are in my coat, let me get them.” He says, and the two mechanics head towards their lockers.

Usually, Wonshik would leave his coat on a bench, knowing no one would touch it, but when he reaches the place, he finds it isn't there. He hums, thinking about where it could be.

“Can't find it?” Yongguk asks. His voice is lower than the other’s, and to some it could be intimidating, but Wonshik knows better. 

“I'm sure I left it here..” He trails off,then searches around. A thought sparks up, that maybe he left it on the motorcycle, but it isn't there either.

 

Taekwoon takes a large sip of his coffee, listening to the shower’s water dripping down. Jongup likes washing up first thing when he returns from his nightly escapades. Luckily, today he isn't sporting a headache as well, what makes giving him attention a lot easier.

“Babe!” Jongup calls, and the shower halts. Not a second later, Taekwoon is there. He watches Jongup getting out and wrapping a lone towel around him.

“What is this?” He gestures at a shiny, black pile of cloth. It takes a few seconds for him to register that this is a coat.

And not one that belongs to him.

“Uhm,” The black haired stutters, his hands are already shaking, “A coat..” He answers the obvious.

“This isn't mine.” His boyfriend’s voice changes on an instant, “It doesn't smell like you. It smells like that freak that I saw you spending the party with.” He growls, and Taekwoon shrieks, folding his arms around himself defendendly, “What is  **this** doing here?” He roars now, and Taekwoon can't help but flinch away from the volume.

“I-I-” He mumbles, looking to his feet. 

Jongup doesn't give him time to answer, “You brought him home, didn't you?” He yanks one of his fragile arms, grasping it around the wrist, then throws it forcefully down, causing Taekwoon to collapse on the cold tiles.

“You’re cheating on me!” He shouts, and gives him a kick that knocks out the air out of his lungs.

“You ungrateful piece of shit! I do everything for you!” He keeps his volume, even though the other is whimpering beneath him, painting the floor with his tears. Jongup  _ hates _ it when Taekwoon cries, so he grabs his arm once again and drags him out of the small bathroom, not minding when his boyfriend is falling due to the injury and the shock.

“Get out!” Jongup screams at him, kicking him off the floor again, and Taekwoon does his best to stand up, but it isn't fast enough for the other, so he gets kicked again.

“Get up! You little piece of shit, I did everything for you! I took you when no one wants you!” He kicks, and kicks, and Taekwoon is crying uncontrollably. Hearing those words thrown at him is more painful than thinking them, even if he believes it’s true.

“No one loves you, and you’re lucky enough I didn't mind taking you!” Jongup grabs him by the hair, and yanks him towards the door.

“Get out! And don't come back!” The door is opened, and Taekwoon is pushed outside.

“See if you can find someone to tolerate you.” 

And Taekwoon is left on the corridor, whimpering, sniffing and too pained to stand up.

 

“I’ll be back before you know it!” He tells his boss and ignites the motorcycle, quickly taking off. He’s sure he had the coat yesterday, he doesn't leave without it. He wouldn't be surprised if it’s hanging on the edge of the shelves at home.

Skipping two steps at a time, he rushes to the apartment, only to find that even in this piled up mess, he can't find it. He runs to Hakyeon’s place, immediately greeted by the elated puppy.

“Hey-hey!” He laughs as small paws try to invite him for a game.

“Aren't you at work?” Hakyeon raises an eyebrow, still in his pyjamas, that have now different imprints of paws on them. 

“Have you seen my coat?” He asks in a hurry, picking up Badass. The dog is satisfied with his owner and pants happily.

“You had it yesterday, did you lose it?” The older shrugs, “I can get you a new coat.” He grins. They’ve had the discussion on Wonshik’s taste in clothes countless times, with each time Hakyeon offering him that he would buy him something more fashionable. Wonshik turns his hyung down each time, but now isn't the time to talk about it - he has to get back to the workshop.

“It’s not that, my keys to the toolbox were there. I really don't want to pick lock it, so have you seen it?” He asks again.

The latter hums, thinking and cocking his head to the side. Hakyeon is always so expression-full, an outcome of his long acting career. 

He snaps his fingers, turning to look at the one at the door, “You had it with you at the party! I remember I scolded you for ruining the suit with something so simple!” He tells him, “Maybe you forgot it there?”

“No, not there..” Wonshik’s heart drops. He puts down the pup and escapes hastily.

 

It’s chilly now, and thankfully he has the coat that because of it, he got kicked out. He can't blame Wonshik for that, as it was his own mistake to bring someone and ask them to stay. At least this way, the coat covers the embarrassing marks on his skin - red, purples and blacks that spread across his arms, legs and chest. There are times that Jongup hits his face too, but not this time. 

His boyfriend could be a lot angrier, using both words and limbs to punish Taekwoon for his actions. He has only himself to blame for that.

The only one that loved him, that tolerated him is now no longer wants to see him. He presses a hand against his head, and the gesture extorts a yelp from him. There must be something wrong with his shoulder as pain shots through his body.

“Taekwoon?” He hears a familiar, low voice asking curiously. He holds himself well in order not to cry again. It’s embarrassing enough that he has been kicked out, he doesn't need others to see him this way too.

He starts walking away from the source of the question, ignoring the man behind him completely. He isn't sure where he could go, but anywhere would be better than seen like this.

“Taekwoon, wait!” He calls, and by the sound of hasted footsteps, Taekwoon registers that Wonshik is running towards him. Maybe if he wasn't this weak he would run too.

Wonshik reaches him, placing his hand on his throbbing shoulder, and Taekwoon hisses at it. The hand immediately is removed, but Wonshik is now facing him, taking in the red and puffy eyes, the long expression and the exhaustion.

“What..” Wonshik wants to ask, but he understands that now maybe isn't the right time. Taekwoon looks so fragile, breakable, and perhaps even already broken.

The older’s lips tremble, he’s holding himself really well, better than he expected.

It takes a couple of minutes for Wonshik to think what he should do. The man in front of him is definitely in pain. He doesn't know the cause of it, but at this point he doesn't care. Taekwoon’s eyes scream for help, and that’s a voice he can't ignore.

He looks exactly like the trembling puppy he found in the dumpster. Alone, left behind, scared. His god-damned instincts won't allow his conscious to leave anything in this state. Be it a small, neglected puppy, or a man that hisses in agony at every movement he makes.

“Let’s go.” He tells Taekwoon, and the latter is confused, so he takes his hand and leads him to the motorcycle.

“Hold on.” Are the only words he speaks before they move. This habit of his to pick up and take care of the neglected and broken will get him into trouble evidently, but he doesn't think of that when the man behind him wets his shirt with his tears.

There’s something wrong with him, and Wonshik  _ will _ help.

 

“Please, just don't ask questions, okay?” Wonshik begs one last time to his hyung, who now is curled with the puppy. They seem to get along better now.

“Yes, yes. It’s okay. I didn't ask before, I’m not going to ask now.” Hakyeon shrugs. Wonshik sighs, and takes cautious steps towards the man behind the door.

Taekwoon still flinches from touch, so he doesn't do anything but gesture for him to come inside.

Hakyeon’s eyes widen at the man in front of him. He stands up and takes the sight in.

“Oh my god.” He gasps, reaching to look at the black haired man. He recalls this face as the one that Jongup always forces to run errands for him. He saw him at the party, and deducting from the familiar, yet distasteful coat over his shoulders, that man was with Wonshik last night.

 

“Hyung, this is Taekwoon. He’s staying here for now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I keep you waiting so much, a lot of things are happening around me. Please leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts about this chapter!


	4. Four

Hakyeon offers him to sit, but Taekwoon declines in his silence. He’s crouching, looking at the small puppy, holding out his hands for the animal to come. The older watches him in wonder, taking in how fragile and breakable the two new additions look. 

Taekwoon’s raven hair is patchy, and at some ends uneven. His skin is sickly pale, and his eyes look tired of crying. Hakyeon is in no position to ask anything, especially after promising Wonshik that he won't.

However, his nature is far too inquisitive to let this matter go, and his mind wanders to odd places when making stories about what could make a man look this feeble. The older decides to offer him something to drink, not knowing what he could talk about with someone who looks so afraid when Hakyeon as much as moves.

  
  


“You’re not late a lot of times.” His boss sighs, and takes off his glasses. The old man takes a long drag of his cigarette, and if it was a regular meeting between them, Wonshik would smoke too. However, as he should have known - this habit of collecting things off the street evidently got him into trouble.

“Why are you late?” The elder asks, taking in another lungful of the cigarette. He doesn't look angry, rather than simply disappointed, and that’s something Wonshik hates the most. Disappointing others and not making up to people’s expectations of him is something he does wonderfully, be it with his family, or with the few friends he has. The only thing he hasn't fucked up yet is his work with the cars. 

“I’m sorry, it won't happen again.” Words that he spoke countless times to different people, in different times are now repeated. Anxiously, he takes the metal bud between his teeth, only out of habit. He bows, the sweat trailing down his face, starting from the tips of his recolored hair, onto his tense temples and to his chapped lips.

“It better, you’re the best here.” His boss says warmly, putting off the worn out fag, “The business would collapse without you, Wonshik-ah.” 

As Wonshik heaves his eyes up to look at the elder, he notices the soft smile and the wrinkles that come with age. Wonshik appreciates the hospitality, and he makes a silent promise not to allow things disturb his work when he’s at the workshop. 

  
  


Scent of tea mixes in the superficial smell of air conditioning and leather furniture. It’s a lot sweeter than the other scents, carrying out the soft and relaxing aura throughout the whole apartment.

“Taekwoon-ah.” Hakyeon calls, and he’s met with round, frightened eyes of a man that only a second earlier was playing with Badass. Hakyeon feels apologetic immediately.

“Sorry,” He says quietly, “I made you some tea.” He reaches out his arm, holding a warm cup, and hesitantly, Taekwoon accepts. He spends a few moments to smell the liquid before taking a small, cautious sip.

“Thank you.” Are the first words he speaks in front of Hakyeon. The older notices the stiffness in his movements and he bites his lips, not sure what should he do.

“There’s plenty of food in the fridge too, feel free to take anything you’d like.” He offers, but Taekwoon keeps silent. 

Hakyeon’s thoughts trail back to a few of his old jobs, thinking whether he has seen this type of behaviour in his line of work before. It’s worrisome - this hesitant and scared demeanor, but there’s nothing he could do to help, not without knowing the story behind it. He looks at the man beneath him, when the pup tries to make its way to Taekwoon’s lap. Some compassion rises within his heart. The two look alike. Both helpless, yet very yearning for love.

The older heads for the bathroom, and halts when he steps over a  _ mushy _ object beneath him. Hakyeon takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, not moving a muscle. He tilts his head to one side, and then the other, trying to relax his shoulders and knock some pressure out of them. The stiffness doesn't go away, as well as the disgusting, nauseating feeling that burns from his gut to his throat.

His eyes snap open, and he turns to the little devil in the shape of a dog. Hakyeon wants to say something, but all words seem to escape his lips, so he simply growls instead.

Taekwoon is up like a spring, and grabs some cleaning instruments, rushing towards his host. His unspeaking expression tells the older that he can go, and that Taekwoon would take care of.

When Hakyeon comes back from the bathroom, the urge to hurl doesn't pass, but the dog poop isn't there anymore. It doesn't even smell, and the place looks clean.

“Thank you.” He tells Taekwoon, who only looks up and gives off the slightest nod, then looks back down.

“You seem to get along well with that beast.” Hakyeon notes, feeling talkative as usual.

“I had a cat.” Taekwoon elaborates, not looking at the other as he speaks. His voice is so soft, sounding like a weak whisper. Hakyeon wonders whether it’s because of his current state, or it’s the man’s actual voice.

“Had?” Hakyeon asks, hoping it isn't too much of prying into his story. He promised not to ask questions, but it’s his second nature.

“I..I..” The raven haired mumbles, his voice is asking for forgiveness, unknown from who or what.

“It’s okay.” Hakyeon smiles, and Taekwoon’s gaze shots up, finding the older’s man eyes for the first time.

“You don't have to tell me if it’s too much.” There are a few moments of silence. It isn't a heavy silence, rather than a comfortable one, of being pleased in each one’s company, having a mutual understanding of when not talking does better to them. There’s a glint of something else besides fear in Taekwoon’s eyes, and his expression, as usual - unreadable.

This doesn't last long as a high pitched yell comes from the door, and at the doorstep a man stands with the dog trying to bite off a part of his jeans. Hakyeon looks to his friend at the door, then to Taekwoon. The man on the floor is unmoving, except from hurried falling and rising of his chest.

“Jaehwan!” Hakyeon scolds, but runs to the black haired one. He wants to place a comforting hand on his back, but remembering how he flinched from touch, he doesn't.

“It’s okay.” The older hushes, “It’s just Jaehwannie. He has a problem with controlling his volume.” At the last word he shoots an angry look towards the standing guest.

“You have a dog!” Jaehwan retaliates, still prying the small one’s teeth off him.

Taekwoon still doesn't respond, but his breathing is ragged, and he loses colour quickly.

Hakyeon sighs, “Let’s go to the guest room, okay?” He offers, and stiffly, Taekwoon complies. 

  
  


His phone is buzzing, but no sound is heard as he’s far too concentrated on his work. He wipes the sweat, and crouches under another vehicle. He rolls down under, tinkering.

“Ya!” He hears someone call, but recalls that this isn't for him, “You brought your car just a few days ago, what’s all this?”

“Shove it, Yongguk, I’m really not in the mood.” Wonshik registers the voice to be Taekwoon’s boyfriend, but perhaps a lot more furious than their past meetings. He assumes it has something to do with Taekwoon, but keeps quiet in order to hear more.

“What’s wrong with you? Your pet ran away?” Yongguk jokes, his low voice ripples in echoes. There’s a metallic sound, something shoved against a car, Wonshik thinks.

“Don't remind me. Just fix this.” Jongup growls, “When I find him, he’s going to  _ beg _ for forgiveness.”

Wonshik sighs, what an ill attitude. It’s a good thing Taekwoon isn't there anymore, but then again, perhaps he doesn't know anything else but Jongup, and will make a return to that psycho. He remembers the dark circles he sported in one of their meeting about Jongup’s car, and how frail he looked. He doesn't want to believe anything physical has happened to the older, but it’s highly unlikely that there wasn't. The way he flinches off touch, and the pained groans set off alarms.

  
  


“He isn't answering!” Hakyeon whispers nervously to Jaehwan. The two are outside the guest room, not wanting to disturb the terrified one.

“Well, what do you want me to do?” Jaehwan whispers loudly back, “I just got here, and you have a dog, and a guy that cries just because I got in!”

“It wasn't because you got in, Jaehwan, it was because you shouted!” Hakyeon explains for the third time. They have no idea how to cope with Taekwoon, being like this - unresponsive and scared. Hakyeon tried to talk to him, but realised it’s worthless. Taekwoon can't reciprocate the conversation, so he can't get anywhere further with it. He gave up, and now he’s trying to reach the only one who seems to know what to do, that too, to no avail. Wonshik is always so immersed in his work that he won't even take calls from his hyung.

“Where did those two come from anyway?” Jaehwan asks, folding his arms childishly. He doesn't like to be left out.

Hakyeon sighs, “Wonshikie picked them off the street.” Is the only logical explanation he can provide. He presses a cold hand against his forehead, hoping it would calm him. He gives out another exasperated sigh as he leans against the wall, sinking into it. Wonshik is enough menace to handle, but now with both a dog and a man - that he knows nothing about except for his name and that he owned a cat - it’s too much for him.

He has no idea how Wonshik handles all the trash he collects, but he always seem to know what to do, and when, even though he is one of the most unorganized men he ever came across. Maybe Jaehwan surpasses him, but just barely.

“Oh, Hyung.” Jaehwan teases, “Are your old bones are too tired to keep up with us?”

It earns the younger a smack over his head.

Jaehwan pouts, giving Hakyeon a small push.

“What are you doing here anyway? I’m on a day off.” The older takes his leave to the sofa, followed by the other.

“Ah, your manager told me to drop you off some new job he got you. At this rate I’ll be charging you two with delivery charge.” Jaehwan finally drops his bag, and takes out neatly formed papers. Another script that Hakyeon’s manager agreed to without talking to him, but at this point Hakyeon simply doesn't care anymore. His manager has gone behind his back countless times, and telling him something about it would be pointless.

“You’re charging me anyway with the amount of food you’re leeching off me.” Hakyeon says absent-mindedly, roughly reading through the script. He can't really concentrate on talking to Jaehwan, nor concentrate on reading the script, as his mind is wandering both to the teary-eyed Taekwoon, and his unforgiving manager. 

“I don't know what you’re talking about, if I don't willingly ask for food, then you feed me, unwillingly.” The younger jokes, “And if I don't eat here, I won't eat anywhere.”

“You chose to be a model.” The older shrugs, “Are you hungry?” He asks after a while.

“Oh,  _ god _ , yes! The company keeps weighting me and telling me to lose weight!” He cries out, “Hyung, they told me that I either make this weight turn into muscles, or that I drop it.” 

“Then, let’s make a deal.” His hyung tells him, “You go and bring Wonshikie here, and I will make us something to eat.” 

Jaehwan groans, sighs, but turns to the door. When Hakyeon wants something, he usually gets it. If not by request, than by his sheer charismatic aura.

  
  


Jongup leans back on the car and heaves another groan, followed by Yongguk’s laughter. Wonshik is still hidden beneath the car, listening diligently to their ministrations. He’s sweating terribly, and probably could already pull out, but decides not to.

“How did you find out he was cheating?” Yongguk asks, and the other hurriedly sighs again.

“He had that garbage’s jacket.” Jongup tells him, “That freak that fixed my car.”

Wonshik bites his lip. Sudden guilt gushes through him. He should apologize for giving him a hard time.

Yongguk’s eyebrow crook and he gestures at the car the purple haired is currently under.

“Wonshik?” He asks in disbelief. 

The mechanic feels his heart rising to his throat, a lump of fear overtakes his breath, causing it to become ragged and uneven.

“I don't know what’s his name.” Jongup groans, then looks at the direction his friend gestured, “He’s here?” His voice becomes dangerously quiet. Usually, he’d be obnoxiously loud, even with Taekwoon.

Within a moment, he leaps, grasping Wonshik’s uncovered legs and pulling him from beneath. His eyes are filled with anger, fury and hatred. The sweat dripping from his forehead carries his rage to the man below.

“You!” He shouts, and before Wonshik can react, Jongup’s fist meets his lip, knocking him into the ground heavily. The piercing scratches a deep rip inside his mouth and he yells out in pain. He doesn't want to react, even though every single cell in his body is used to do so. Jongup crushes into him a few more punches, and Wonshik shuts his eyes, both trying to focus and take in the pain. Another punch meant for the man’s head is stopped midway, and the bruised one can hear someone taking Jongup away, but not without a promise he would finish what he started.

Wonshik is shaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment below~


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... I can't believe I did it. I really want to thank my friend Nataly for helping me getting through writer's block and some crappy things in my life.  
> Please enjoy <3

The man’s eyes rake the other’s bruised face, and if it isn't for his sunglasses, his eyes could be seen at their widest. He takes a few moments to watch the man, and while doing so his shades start trailing down his nose due to the sweat from this heated summer. Carelessly, he takes them off, and as if freeing his mouth, he heaves a shout at the male before him.

“Are you  _ insane _ ? What  _ happened _ to you?” He screams, and a hand comes to cover his lips immediately. The purple haired man shushes the other, giving him a scolding glare.

“Hyung, you promised me you won't scream in the workshop anymore!” The younger pleads, but Jaehwan pushes his covering arm aside and lets out another shout.

“What’s  _ wrong _ with you?” He lectures loudly, but Wonshik gives him a slight push, his eyes begging for him to go quiet.

Jongup managed to bruise his face, not as severely as previous fights left Wonshik, but the purple haired had a very long while when he caused no trouble and got into no fights. It’s always Wonshik’s fault for fights to start, whether it’s his pride or simple his sense of helping those in need. However, not this time. Or so the mechanic believes.

“Hyung.” He pouts, “Please don't tell Hakyeon hyung.” He pleads, and takes out a cigarette, lighting it immediately and breathing the toxic air like he is in need of it desperately.

“Then what do you want me to tell him?” Jaehwan waves off the smoke, but keeps his eyes on the younger at all times, “Oh, yeah, hyung, those purples and blacks on Shikie’s face, they’re not because he got into a fight, even though it’s really clear by the look of it?” He taunts him.

Wonshik winces as the smoke burns the fresh cut inside his mouth, but takes another drag nonetheless, “Please, he’s going to be really disappointed.” With each word, smoke comes out, and Jaehwan decides he had enough of standing amidst it.

“Whatever.” The older sighs, moving out of the grey cloud, “Hakyeon hyung wants you home anyway. He offered me food if I get you back home.”

“Why does he wants me home?” He quirks an eyebrow, some of the sweat above it trailing to the sides of his face.

“Ah, your friends are a mess.” Jaehwan states as a matter of fact, “Where did you pick them up anyway? I mean, the dog, I understand but-”

“What do you mean a mess?” Wonshik cuts in, and by god-driven instinct throws away the cigarette hurriedly, and already heading to grab his motorcycle keys.

“Well, Taekwoon isn't responding to hyung, and he got really scared when I shouted.” He explains, and it earns him a slight smack on the head from the younger.

“Ow!” Jaehwan pouts, but follows Wonshik when he makes his way to his vehicle, “What are you going to do?” He asks curiously, still patting the back of his head.

“Don't know.” Wonshik shrugs, “I’ll improvise, as usual.” 

  
  


The black haired stares with intent at the pup, watching its disoriented steps. Perhaps it’s because it’s so young, or just another quirk. He reaches out for the soft white fur, and the smaller gives out a pleased whine. Taekwoon’s lips form into a smile and he exhales the trapped air from earlier whimpering. It’s shaky, and causes him to make a strangled, odd sound from his chest, he isn't aware of making. He feels stupid, for letting something so miniscule scare him to this level. However, that loud voice reminded him of earlier events. He feels sorry, too.

Jongup is really upset with him, and it’s all his fault. He should have explained better, he should have hidden away the coat. Preferably, he should have not brought Wonshik home at all.  The ache in his shoulder and ribs is there to remind him that his fault haunts him. However, wandering the streets alone would do him no good. He can't go back to Jongup like this, because he’s still mad. There’s no other place for him to stand.

He inhales deeply the unfamiliar scent of Hakyeon’s sheets, until he feels the tugging pain at his side. There’s a bruise there, probably, but his mind can't focus on that at the moment. The smell is sweet, but bitter, so different from the musky and heavy smell he got used to back at home. He can't recall his own scent, since Jongup told him earlier on that the perfume he uses stinks and he should get rid of it.

Slowly, he spreads his aching legs, listening to the small cracking sounds of sore joints.

Coming down from panic has its toll.

Engrossed in allowing himself to move, it takes him a few moments to register that a familiar face has entered the room, and a few more to understand that it’s Wonshik.

He says something, but Taekwoon isn't very good with listening at the moment, so he just keeps watching the other man, eyes large and curious. His gaze trails from the sweaty neck that bobs up and down, indicating that he’s still speaking, up to his bruised lip and his colourful skin around the eyes. When Taekwoon locks his look with Wonshik, his face immediately drops and he avoids the other. 

“Taekwoon!” He tries to snap him out, and finally the older’s eyes are back to the man before him. Wonshik is crouching, hands resting at each side of the older, on the bed he’s currently seated over. There’s a decent amount of space between the two, not wanting to impose his touch over the other.

“Wonshik.” He says, voice filled with wonder, “You’re here.” Taekwoon allows his shoulders to slump and a small intake of breath indicates that he has relaxed to some extent.

“Yeah.” The younger gives out a small smile, “Jaehwan told me you weren't responding.”

Taekwoon sighs, and brings his legs back to himself and tenses up. He caused more trouble, hasn't he?

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, “For burdening you.” He wants to ask more about the colourful splotches on the man’s face, but he knows his place.

Neither of them are friends, nor will be. As soon as Taekwoon will muster up the courage, he’ll be gone, and the two will forget each other.

Wonshik will be nothing but a long forgotten memory. Isn't he already? Isn't Taekwoon is such a memory too?

The thought scares him, but on another medium. Jongup could register him as such a distant memory too, if he will burden him too much, and without Jongup, he has nothing.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Wonshik snaps him out of his thoughts after what seems like an eternity, but proves to be only a few seconds. His train of thoughts always goes too fast and leaves him disoriented when he comes off it.

“Let’s go to my place, where there are less people.” He doesn't give Taekwoon a lot of time to dwell on the offer, and the older feels his hand taken. He’s being lead, out of the room and within a few moments, he’s somewhere else.

  
  


After hearing a long rant from Hakyeon on how Wonshik should stop being stupid and get into fights, he lead the man to the small attic he calls home. Now they’re sitting, one facing another, in silence.

Wonshik glances up, the other man’s face looks strained, but not physically so. Not like the day he found him. He looks frightened, as if the subject of his agony would reach him from behind the closed, wooden door, and would drag him back, straight to the previous hell he used to live through. The youngest doesn't know if to call it hell, since he isn't sure what  _ it _ was anyway.

He feels a foreign tug on his wrist and his eyes move towards the older. Taekwoon looks at him with a pleading gaze, asking for things he couldn't voice.

“Yeah.” Wonshik tells him through tired lips, “I'm not going to leave you right now.” It takes him a lot of power to say those words, but the older looks  _ so _ broken that it makes him want to stay. He already called work, asking for two days off, and got an earful for that. 

“Listen, can I just-” Wonshik tries, “Ask?” They’re not friends, barely acquaintances, and perhaps this question is misplaced.

“What happened?” He finally lands the words, shattering the silent agreement of not talking about  _ it _ , whatever  _ it _ actually  _ is _ .

Taekwoon nods, understanding he owns the man in front of him that much.

“I got kicked out..” He admits shamefully, and it’s enough for the younger to know he needs to stop pushing.

“And those,” He gestures at Taekwoon’s general direction, “Are because of it?” It’s a question that has been going in his mind for several hours now, since his little event with Jongup.

Taekwoon finds himself nodding before he understands what he had just admitted.

 

This isn't the first time Taekwoon got hit. When he makes mistakes, he has to be rebuked for them, or so Jongup explained once. They have been together for long, and Jongup always knew Taekwoon best, and he was always right about things. 

The older didn't mind the pain, since it never came to this level of agony, and his boyfriend always explained himself that it’s done out of love and care.

No one knew.

Not even his parents. They still probably think Taekwoon is a careless kid that bumps into things, and can't manage himself. His mother  _ loves _ Jongup. She’s in love with the idea of her son dating an actor, even though the two of them are men.

 

When Taekwoon is back, his train of thought cut off by a low voice chuckling about something that isn't surprising. Taekwoon thinks Wonshik talks about his boyfriend beating him, but he isn't sure. His mind isn't present whole-ly. 

“Your guy gave me a good beating today, when he came to the workshop.” 

Oh, so that’s what he’s talking about. The man’s face drops in shame. It’s one thing when Jongup teaches him, guides him through pain, but it’s embarrassing when he simply hits another person.

“But I’m dense,” Wonshik laughs, and only then Taekwoon registers that fact that he removed the coat, and moved his shirt over the shoulder. Then, something warm, damp and soft pressed against the aching joint. It’s a towel, Taekwoon guesses, and somehow - unclear how, he isn't startled by the touch.

Maybe because Wonshik is gentle.

Or maybe because he blindly trusts that man, whom he had met just several times. 

What would Jongup say if he sees him in this position?

  
  


Hakyeon walks back and forth, each step represents two or three words that he goes over again. He likes counting the words, and dividing them into steps. This time, they’re shooting a scene with only 88 words for him, and that divided perfectly by two.  _ Satisfying _ , Hakyeon thinks.

The wind blows softly through his thick bangs, mixing them up again. The feeling is nice against his hot skin as he keeps going over his text.

“No!” He hears someone yell. The voice isn't familiar to him, which means this isn't anyone from his team, which means whoever is shouting, isn't doing it because of Hakyeon.

“I look ugly in this color. I can't wear it.” The same person declares, and it finally picks Hakyeon's interest, so the memorizing is left behind and snooping becomes his task.

“I’m sorry..” He hears a small voice, it’s a coordinator, talking to someone he's yet to see. She looks ashamed, scared maybe, and Hakyeon doesn't like this.

Whether or not he and that person work on the same drama, he  _ hates _ seeing staff being treated unkindly, and being the fussy and nosy person he is, he’s obliged to step in.

“Do you want to ruin me?” The man asks, and when he steps up, Hakyeon can see his face at last, as he’s taller than the coordinator in front of him, standing just between him and Hakyeon.

Jongup looks enraged, and the older doesn't like it at all.

When Jongup raises his hand to land it on the coordinator’s cheek, Hakyeon’s hand latches forcefully to his wrist.

There’s fire in Hakyeon’s eyes, and that’s something rarely to be seen.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment below! What do you think will happen to Taekwoonie? Will he go back to Jongup?


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you haven't waited long. I tried to really make something good for you guys. Thank you for all the love and support!

The firm hold on the man’s hand doesn’t falter when Hakyeon’s gaze meets the othre’s angry look. His delicate fingers are pressing harshly, and when he tells the coordinator to leave, his eyes are still locked on Jongup.  
“Cha.” Jongup calls disrespectfully. He growls and yanks his hand away. The taller takes a step back, and when he’s about to say anything, Hakyeon decides not to waste any more time on the man, and walks away.  
“What was that?” Hakyeon’s manager asks, meeting him as he walks towards his own coordinators. He grumbles a meaningless answer and sits down.  
Jongup is known for his rude personality. Sadly, he will have to put up with his distasteful actions. He groans and presses warm hands to his temples, massaging away his agitation.

 

 

“You said that you’re dense..” Taekwoon mumbles silently, his hands are busy with the white pup rolling between his folded legs. They’ve decided to say here for a while, and leave afterwards to grab food. Having no money with him, Taekwoon pleaded for Wonshik to allow him to pay him back sometime later. However, to his surprise, Wonshik simply laughed and told him to forget about it.  
“Hm? What about it?” The younger looks up from his phone, somewhat distracted. He left in the middle of work, without so much explaining it to his boss. He has to say something, and for the last couple of minutes, he has been thinking about _what_ . The purple-haired scratches at his eyebrow out of habit, until his fingers reach the metallic loop sitting there. Trying to stop himself from damaging his unorganized brows any longer, he picks at his pocket, grasping for a cigarette. He can see how Taekwoon’s expression doesn’t change, and it relaxes him some. He doesn’t think he would have handled this well if this hyung disliked his habits.  
“Why did you say so?” The older asks in his always soft voice. It’s nothing like Wonshik ever heard before, he notices as he lights up the bud.  
“I mean,” Taekwoon stutters, but stops as the younger cuts his words.  
“I’ve been in a lot of places, _hyung_ .” The word makes the raven-haired wince slightly, “But, you know, didn’t you ever get bullied at school? I mean,” Wonshik takes a deep drag, “You don’t really expect to see a teenage boy with some red-hair and some pretty shitty ink on his body.” There’s a glint of humor to his words, and Taekwoon isn’t sure how to take it.  
“People can be cruel. But you can’t be cruel to those who are stronger than you, so I got dense.”  
  
It’s somewhat unbalancing to Taekwoon. Hearing what Wonshik says, it’s almost like there _are_ people that go through things similar to what he has been through. Sure, he wasn’t that odd kid with the crazy hair and the piercings, but he was the quiet one.  
  
_The bell rings gracefully, liberating all the students to their lunch-break. People are folding their belongings, and stuff them as quick as they can into their respective bags. The smallest of them, sporting a green and white football shirt is still sitting silently at his desk. His bangs are rolling out of the band his mother gave him this morning, so he still can’t see the three others approaching him._  
_“How did they even let you on the football team?” One of the tallers ones asks. Taekwoon is used to those kind of malicious questions. Sometimes he really does wonder why,_ **_why_ ** _, is he on the football team, only to be reminded by his mother and coach that he’s doing wonderfully, and actually helps the team a lot. He has practice today, after school hours, and he looks forward to it, like every other day. However, looking forward going out on the field has nothing to do actually with how he will feel at the end of the day._  
_It’s insane that those people have power to dictate how he feels, and how well he will do in games. Just a word there, a gesture here, and they’re all under his skin. But he, he was taught not to talk about it, because their parents are influential or something like that. Taekwoon isn’t sure he even knows what influential means._ _  
“Are they that desperate to take a mute person to the team?” Another one says. It’s a common mistake about Taekwoon, that he is mute. His mother told him that he needs to explain to them he isn’t mute,and that in fact, there’s nothing wrong with him._

_But what’s the point?_

_He would always end up in between their painful fists, telling others that he just plays too roughly on the field - as rough as a 9 years old can do. And they, they’re always out there to get him. Make him comply. Because he’s weak. Because he’s odd. Because_ **_he deserves it_ ** _._

 

 

“That’s a wrap!” The director calls, and Hakyeon immediately folds, saying his regards to the team. Everyone did word hard today, despite some mishaps. He messed up his lines a few times. Thank god he’s not into theatrics, he wouldn’t have handled the pressure of remembering things so oddly quick.  
He takes a walk back to his station, picking up on the way some water bottles. Firstly, he hands them out to the team, only then, saves one for himself. He’s always like that.  
“You’ve worked hard.” His makeup artist grins at him, while bringing some wipes to remove the already-set makeup.  
“It’s all your work.” He tells her, then grabs his phone. Uncharacteristically, he got a message from Wonshik, so that he would check last. More characteristically, he got a message from Jaehwan and Hongbin, blabbering something about who played best in the last football match. Hakyeon could care less, since he doesn’t even like football. He finds it too dull- a group of sweaty men running after a ball in a yard is less his favor. He keeps telling them that they should drop the subject, and talk about something more elegant, like contemporary dance. That earns him a snort from the younger two, and in return, he would sigh.

  
  
_Message from Shikie, 16:46:_ _  
_ _Hyung, I left Badass at your place for a while. If there’s a scratch on the sofa, just know it wasn’t him._

 

Hakyeon rolls his eyes, and gets a scolding from his makeup artist for making it harder to remove it. He apologizes quickly, and scrolls down to the newer messages.

 

_Message from Shikie, 17:16:_ _  
_ _How’s your new drama going?_ _  
__  
__Message from Shikie, 18:39:_  
Hyung, I think you might be working with Taekwoon-hyung’s ex.

 

At the last message, he drops the phone on the table, startling the other around him. He gets irritated looks, but after a moment they’re all back to work. He grabs the device again, just to check if he saw the message correctly. Oh _god_ .  
His logical side tells him to think straight. Wonshik said _might_ , which means he might not. His emotional side, that usually acts up in situations like this, wants to yell at him for not knowing prior to this.

  
  
_Sent to Shikie, 20:22:_ _  
_ _What do you mean????_

 

He hopes for a quick reply and exhales loudly. This is exactly why he stays out of the whole actors-community business. He knows for a fact that the people there aren’t very pleasant. And for Hakyeon, while being able to put up with that obnoxious group of stuck up actors, he has made a decision long ago not to waste his time. Surely, this would cost him in getting good roles through acquaintances, but his belief is that he should get roles based on his skills solemnly. His manager constantly laughs at him for this naive kind of thinking, but he’s one of the last people he’d pay attention to when it concerns his beliefs.

  
  
_Message from Shikie, 20:29:_ _  
_ _You work with Moon Jongup, right?_

 

His heart sinks at this comment. This malicious man has been nothing but trouble on set when he wasn’t busy acting his part. Hakyeon inhales deeply and closes his eyes. He doesn’t think he can stand that man much longer.

He doesn’t want to know what he could have done to Taekwoon for him to cross path with Wonshik, being so terrified of everyone around him, and looking in pain. Hakyeon hopes the pain isn’t real, and it looks like his hopes are up for nothing. This unconventional fire that burns with the sense of justice makes him jerk off his chair, and walk heavily to that man’s place, again. His eyes hold this strange, dark aura, that is rarely seen in the calm man. Not many get to see him so worked up.

 

“What is wrong with you?” He asks, however quietly, as he stands next to Jongup’s chair. The latter doesn’t bat an eye at him, and seemingly is far too invested in the music plugged to his ears.

So Hakyeon grasps the earphones and pulls them away.

“What is wrong with you?” Jongup shoots, hands already flying to grab onto his snatched earphones.

“That’s what I asked you, Moon Jongup.” The older keeps his quiet manner, and it’s like the universe has stopped around them. Their eyes are glaring fiercely, and there’s nothing besides them inside the small tent. Noise seem to die, only the sound of their heavy breathing reaches their ears.

“What the hell do you want from me?” Jongup asks between gritted teeth. Hakyeon can hear his words clearly, even though the room is buzzing with people and workers. His focus is solemnly on that man.

“Stop mistreating Taekwoon.” He says after a while, voice final as he leaves once again.

Noise starts coming back, but Hakyeon is cooped up inside his mind. He stops at the entrance of Jongup’s tent, and looks at the earbuds in his hand. He turns around to the latter, and in a way that he could see, drops the white device to the ground.

Jongup’s expression seem to hold so much rage, that Hakyeon thinks the man would run to him and start beating everything around, including Hakyeon himself. After a moment of confirming he doesn’t, the older leaves.

He knows that Jongup is dislikable, but this is already taking on his nerves.

  


The convenience store is just a block away from Wonshik’s place, and thankfully, at this time, there aren’t many people there. They’ve left the pup at Hakyeon’s place, and it made the older wonder how much does the actor trust Wonshik to give him a key. He doesn’t really know anything about the man he’s currently shopping with, and staying at his place, but he has been far more generous than most people he met.  
His phone buzzes, and stopping right in front of some packed meals, he pulls it out of the jacket. Wonshik’s jacket.  
  
_Message from Jongup, 20:33:  
_ _Woon-ah, I wanna talk_

 

His heart stutters at the message, and he brings the phone close to his chest, as if looking at a secret. He scans the aisles, hoping that no one is looking at him, or at the screen. His hands are a little shaky, and become even more so when he receives another message.

 

_Message from Jongup, 20:37:  
_ _I’m sorry babe, I know I’ve been wrong._

 

Taekwoon believes this man’s honesty blindly. Jongup may have beaten him, but Taekwoon thinks, no, he’s _sure_ , that Jongup loves him. Otherwise, why bother keeping him? He only fights with him because Taekwoon is important to him.  
Or so Taekwoon tells himself.

 

_Sent to Jongup, 20:41:  
_ _Okay_

 

_Sent to Jongup, 20:42:  
_ _Where?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment below! I'd read all of them dilligently.
> 
> ** another note **  
> This fic is really dear to me, and I try to do my best for you guys to enjoy it. I know so many people who have been in abusive relationships, including myself, so I want to bring you guys some of the feeling that float around people who are in one. Thank you for reading, commenting and leaving kudos. I appreciate it so much. <3


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of Hakyeon's story. Enjoy! :)

“What's the matter with you today?” His manager, a relatively young adult remarks irritatingly. Hakyeon sighs, sinking into his seat and letting the makeup noona do her job. He feels hot, even though it's breezy today. His simple jacket for this filming does a great job job of protecting him from the violent wind that comes from time to time. The noona removes some of the sweat sticking to his forehead, and the effect of it on his mood is immediate, though not great.

“It's the fifth NG today, Hakyeon.” The manager lectures once again. It's not like Hakyeon never NG-ed before. There are no actors like that, but he's usually doing well, as where today his concentration is somewhere completely different.

With all the issues coming from Wonshik and his friends, he barely has time for himself, and the lack of rest takes its toll.

Hakyeon works hard, very hard, since an apartment like the one he has doesn't pay itself, and there are other things to take care of. Those thoughts and memories throw him into a spurr of emotions, and he simply  _ can't focus _ .

  
  


Absent-mindedly, the man hangs the bag somewhere at the entrance, and not a minute passes before his phone buzzes. He doesn't let the ring play out, and answers even before a sound escapes the device.

“Yah!” A female voice bursts through the line, and inwardly, Hakyeon sighs, “You said that you'd come home last weekend. Where's your loyalty to your words?”

“I'm sorry noona.” He replies, meanwhile kicking off his shoes and sinking into the couch, turning on the TV to look at whatever.

“You made me and your sister worry awfully.” She tells him, “Is this how you treat family?”

Not wanting to explain the complicated situation of  _ hey, my friend picked up someone from the street that has been abused by the guy I'm working with _ , Hakyeon simply nods, and only after a moment does he realize that his sister can't see him.

“How is noona? And hyung?” He decides to ask, avoiding the last subject. Some channel on the TV shouts loudly, and it fills up the silence of waiting for her to say something.

“We went to see dad this weekend.” She tells him, “Unnie took it better than last time, but…  _ He _ still struggles.”

It's rare to hear Hakyeon's voice layered with such a serious tone, but lately, each conversation with his sister turns out like this.

“Hyung has to move on..” Words that are vainly spoken, since there's nothing to do about the situation, “Make sure to call me next time you go.”

“Hakyeon-ah.” Her voice quietens, “You should probably know that dad has gotten worse. He keeps having nightmares, and the nurses aren't very pleased with how the medication affects him. They said that most veterans turn out like this.”   
His heart would clutch at this, but it can’t. Not at this point anyway.   
“When are you meeting him again?” He voices out timidly. Talking about  _ him _ always makes things so hard.   
“We want to go tomorrow. Can you make it? I know you work a lot..” Her voice trails off to something he can’t pay attention to. His mind wanders to the breeze he feels from the open window, to the stutter of falling leafs, to the matt sounds from the street below him. Can he make it? Probably.   
Does Hakyeon want to? It’s a whole different question.   
Seeing his family is hard enough, especially at times like this when fall starts creeping in, and the anniversary comes near. He was always so close with his older siblings, being the youngest, but it has been so long since he actually felt like the young one.

His cool hand brushes through his thick hair, letting it fall gracefully on his watery forehead. A solemn wrinkle crosses above his eyebrows as he thinks about the offer. Perhaps it’s too much, now, but it should keep him grounded and remind him where his heart should be.   
“Text me the time.” Is all he tells her, and after a several rounds of farewells and vain promises of keeping in touch, they hang up.   
It’s incredible how hard Hakyeon works to feel in control, when in reality nothing in his life is. Sure, he got his friends, that are very precious to him, but what else?  _ What else? _

He can’t decide on even the works he’ll be doing. For as far as he knows, his manager would have let him do porn if that would sell, but perhaps it’s for the best. Hakyeon need the money, desperately so.

Ever since he turned 15, he’d work. Wherever, as long as it pays. At first it was cleaning, then newspaper delivery, then at a convenience store so he could study a bit. That was too, in vain, since his diploma is far from complete.

He sighs back to reality, and decides it’s best right now to cook something and force that idiot Wonshik to eat with him. Maybe he’d convince Taekwoon as well. He ponders a little longer on what a dog should and shouldn’t eat, and decides to ask Wonshik about it later.

  
  


“Oh? Taekwoon-hyung said he needs some air, he took Badass with him.” Wonshik says, and it appears that Hakyeon caught him mid-dying his purple hair. He wants to scold him for dying alone, but that’s plainly pointless. Instead, he stuffs the food into the miniature fridge that stinks like beer and energy drinks, and sits down where the pile of Wonshik’s futon lies.   
“Wonshik-ah.” He says, and his voice is heavy. So heavy the other has to turn around from the mirror and see with his own eyes that it’s actually his hyung talking in that way.   
“Yeah hyung? Did something happen?” He asks. A lot of people seem to ask him that lately. He should stop wearing his heart on his sleeve.

“I want to go tomorrow visit my family.” The older declares, not really knowing what should it matter to Wonshik. However, reminding himself of past memories, Hakyeon trusts the younger to know what to do. He always knows, somehow.

“Did you talk to your manager about it?” He turns back to the mirror and listens while painting the delicate strands, as well as his hands in red again.

“No. What should I tell him? I don’t think he will let me go.”   
So they talk, and pass the night that way, where at some point Wonshik actually washes off the colour and happily smiles at the yet again red hair on his head. Taekwoon doesn’t come back, but Wonshik says he trusts him, since he left with the puppy.

Hakyeon is apprehensive.

  
  


The trees whistle from the cooling wind, and brown leafs tumble down, leaving a scent of ending of a season around. Hakyeon dislikes it awfully, but he’s here nonetheless. He looks at a big building, leaning over his car. The building didn’t change, at all, unlike the seasons and the years.

A sudden query pops in his mind, whether or not his father actually remembers him. He got taller, and changed countless time since he was here last. He takes a deep breath, the aura of finality and decay surrounding him. It’s a terrible feeling, but Hakyeon is  _ still _ here.

A knot forms in his throat as he sees two familiar cars arrive from the end of the dirt path. The trees hide them well, but Hakyeon's history with those two identical cars allow him to identify them with no mind really paid. He wears a nervous smile, tucked beneath a large woolen scarf as his siblings arrive.

 

“Yeon-ah!” He hears his oldest sister call, waving her hand. She seems to have coloured her hair to pale orange, and it's a nice change from last year's electric blond. She's holding a bundle in her arms, and the tiny child makes a noise as she clings onto Hakyeon, giving him a loving kiss on the cheek.

He should be happy to see them again, and his eldest sister's appearance  _ does _ lift his mood somewhat, but that changes as his brother steps out of his car and actively avoids Hakyeon.

The youngest sibling tucks his face deeper in his scarf, and together with his family, makes way towards the building that used to scare him so much.

  
  


It seems like the years only made him uglier. The old camo shirt is hanging over his shoulders, and the old man clings to it like he probably still clings to old memories of the time he used to serve. White and grey stubs of malnourished facial hair decorate his thin line of lips, spreading from above it to the base of his neck, where the hospital's shirt covers him. His eyes are still wells of void, just like Hakyeon remembers them. It might be that his father can understand what's going on around him, but there's no sign to that, no promise.

That's alright, Hakyeon thinks, since his father never really was around anyway. When Hakyeon was younger the old man was serving, and rarely returned home. He even remembers asking his mother who was he, in some of the earliest memories of his. 

And then, he turned to this pile of dysfunctional mess that became Hakyeon's responsibility.

“Hi.” He tells the old man, but no recognition sparks, so he turns to his sisters, as if asking what should be his next step. The give him a reassuring nod, and he looks back to the man who used to be his father.

“It's.. Hakyeon, your little son.” He says to him, hoping for anything, but also for nothing. God, how he wishes to be anywhere but here. His heart races aimlessly, and he looks away again.

“I've been good, dad.” The words are stiff and unnatural to him, but he pushes through anyway, “I got accepted into a really good job, so you could stay here another year.”

The room's door opens, and slams shut and Hakyeon notices immediately the absence of his brother. His eyes search his sister's ones, and gets a shrug in reply. Knowing he probably shouldn't follow him, he does so anyway.

 

“Wait, wait, hyung!” He has to run a little to catch the man outside, already lighting a cigarette. 

“What?” He barks, “Why did you come? So you could brag about how much money you make?”

“No- hyung, that wasn't my intention!” He retorts.

“Then what the  _ hell _ are you doing here?”

Hakyeon isn't sure himself. He hasn't visited his father a long time, and wasn't really planning on doing it. It's easy that way- he'd pay for the bill, and leave the visiting, and all the emotional things tied to his malfunctioning family of his to his older siblings.

“I.. wanted to see dad.” He lies. Of course it isn't true, and his voice wavers as he says the words out. 

“Cut the crap, Hakyeon.” His brother snarls, and matts his words with a long inhale, “What do you want? You're really good on your own.”

“Hyung..” He pleads, but the truth is he has no answer for any of those questions. He can't remember a time he had. There's an eerie silence between them, until Hakyeon's phone buzzes and he uses it as an excuse to ignore just a little longer his problems.

 

_ Message from Shikie, 17:21: _

_ Hyung Taekwoon went back. _

 

_ Message from Shikie, 17:21: _

_ To his boyfriend. _

 

An awful tremor sparks down his spine and he feels like he got just knocked out of air.

“I'm sorry, hyung.” He says, distracted, “I have to go.” He bows, and rushes to his car.

 

_ Message from Shikie, 17:23: _

_ It's good, right? _

 

Hakyeon isn't sure  _ why _ he's rushing so much, but his instincts tell him that Wonshik needs someone right now to fill the void. Maybe it's the truth, or maybe it's just his way to escape from this place.

“Yeah, go, leave. Whatever, you were never welcomed here anyway.” His brother spits out, and before Hakyeon can reply, he's gone.

 

_ Message from Shikie, 17:34: _

_ He left on his own. Said that they sorted things out. _

 

_ Message from Shikie, 17:34: _

_ I have a bad feeling hyung. _

 

Hakyeon swallows dryly.

 

_ Sent to Shikie, 17:35: _

_ Me too. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooo love writing cliffhangers! See you next week with a new chapter!


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Un-beta'd, but this is where things start going really down.

They fall into a comfortable routine, just like the old one. Just like before Taekwoon was kicked out due to his wrongdoings. He coloured his hair, in the name of change, and restyled it, sporting new platinum locks, that still drape over his dark, endless eyes.   
It’s becoming colder and it’s the perfect excuse to wear knitted sweaters now, just like the one he wears currently. His legs are collected to his chest as he wraps an arm around them, and with the other softly pets his feline companion.   
“Jongup,” He says quietly, and the other glances to his way, already used by now to this silence.   
“What?” The man asks, but his eyes are on his phone screen.   
“I want to go out.” Taekwoon replies, “Can I go out?” 

It’s been spoken of before, when they met to talk and sort things out, that Jongup wants him to tell him with who he meets, and when. It’s not like Jongup won’t allow it, but Taekwoon knows he highly disregards when he meets with someone that his boyfriend doesn’t know of. So his meetings with Hakyeon-hyung, Wonshik and the loud one had to come to an end. 

He knows that Jongup really doesn’t like Hakyeon, and Taekwoon feels somewhat torn, as his short relationship with the man was nothing but positive. He got a few messages even, a few days after he returned home asking whether he’s alright, and telling him that  _ they _ miss him. That Wonshik misses him, and maybe he could come over.

Taekwoon never bothered to answer those, since he has to live by Jongup’s rules now more than ever, since he has to redeem himself.

 

Jongup was standing there, heaving a boquet of flowers, letting the fall’s rain engulf him completely. It stirred something within Taekwoon, but he isn’t sure what. When the man found him, and caught sight of him, it was a matter of seconds until the ever so familiar hands brought him into a hug. From that, Taekwoon flinched.

 

“Yeah. Where are you going?” The younger asks, his face is still glued to the screen.   
“Friends from my old school are around.” He replies calmly, spreading the lie so easily, “We’re going to a coffee shop.”

 

A few hours later, he’s standing under an umbrella, hoping that he’s not intruding anything, and that the man is home. He’s apprehensive, and concerned most of all, as he’s breaking some unspoken rule Jongup set for him. It was so easy to go back to being Jongup’s, so easy, and yet - he feels the need to break the protective walls his boyfriend asked him to follow. 

Each day he makes a little progress - just a few days ago, he walked to Wonshik’s and Hakyeon’s block, but never entered the street. It felt too wrong to make it any further, but he’s learning. Which is why, right now, he’s standing beneath the towering building, looking at it with unsure eyes.

His frozen fingers clutch onto the umbrella harshly, changing colour from cold-red to strained white. It’s hard not to shiver in this stormy weather, but Taekwoon is shivering even more.

He wants to go in, take the elevator to the last floor, climb the side-stairs and enter the small apartment. Greet the puppy, greet Hakyeon, ask about his well being, and tell them that he’s doing okay.

Everything in this utopian dream is surreal, as Taekwoon is all but doing okay.

He’s comfortable, going back on a leash, but there’s some unspoken fear in his heart. The memory of him being dragged on the floor so harshly that his thighs got bruised and his shoulder dislocated are etched to his skull like burning iron. It’s harder now, not to flinch from the other, and it’s especially excruciating, since Jongup really wants to touch Taekwoon at all times. 

His heart skips a beat when he sees red blazing locks, escaping from a helmet. His fingers would start to hurt soon, but every single cell in his body is frozen. Taekwoon thinks he can’t breathe, and unlike the out-of-breath state he is found in when Jongup wants to be intimate, he finds no air in his lungs because there’s a deep feeling of truly  _ missing _ something. 

Hakyeon pops out of the front door, wearing fluffy slippers, and shouting something that from afar, Taekwoon can’t make out. He’s waving his arms frantically, carrying what seems to be newspaper, and maybe keys too, but he isn’t sure. Not from where he’s standing.

Every instinct tells him to go there, tell them  _ how much _ he misses them. But he can’t.

Jongup doesn’t like them, so Taekwoon should to.

He retreats back home, leaving the scene behind him.

  
  


Jongup’s friends are obnoxiously loud, and they always stay up late when there are football games. Personally, the older preferes soccer, but he has no one to share this love with. 

After helping his boyfriend to carry a dozen bottles of Soju, he slumps into the sofa and calls his cat to his lap, who unsurprisingly, doesn’t really listen. Cats aren’t dogs, Taekwoon makes a mental note. He thinks of Badass, that would happily follow him everywhere, but the thought is discarded quickly when Jongup places an arm around Taekwoon and brings him closer.

“Babe?” He asks, and nuzzles to his neck, causing Taekwoon to stop moving immediately. Too close.  _ Too close _ .

“We still have time before Daehyun and Yongguk are going to be here.” His lips are just a few inches away from his ear, and he can feel his own pulse rising.  _ Too close. _ He lets a small breath run out, but he’s still stone.

When Jongup’s lips are on his neck, kissing his way down to the collar of Taekwoon’s shirt, the older is immediately up, and with wide, shock-driven eyes he stares blankly at the firstly confused, and then furious expression of Jongup.   
“Taekwoon?” He asks, and all the man can think about is that Jongup is too damn close. He got too close. His skin touched his own, and it’s repelling, even though it shouldn’t be. Taekwoon is nauseated, and all he wants is to run. This man, before him, someone that he loves very much - or so he convinces himself - is repulsive to him. His touch is like burning fire, inside a whirlpool, that throws Taekwoon unbalanced.

“Too close…” He musters, although a thousand different thoughts are running through his mind. He can’t pick one, so he relies on his instincts only.

“Sorry.” Taekwoon bows to Jongup.

  
  
  


“It’s the last time you forget your keys!” Hakyeon yells, waving with a magazine - something about lifestyle and health. Wonshik hates those the most.

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry! Hyung!” He yelps as Hakyeon hits him with the folded paper, stomping with his pinky and fluffy slippers, “Ow! Ow!” He cries out, “Please!” 

The blasts aren’t really hurting Wonshik, but the playful mood between the two causes him to act out his part. However, the next blow lands on his pierced brow, and he’s momentaly jumping away, covering the stubs with his hand.

“Hyung!” He moans, “That hurts!” Wonshik cries.

“Oops,” Hakyeon grins apologetically, “It’s okay?” He moves closer to the red haired, and picks his hands away, uncovering the healthy brow beneath. It’s a little red, but Hakyeon figures that a man like Wonshik won’t stay with a bruise from a simply magazine.

“Can we go in?” The younger asks,  and the older nods, both of them disappearing into the elevator.

  
  


The smoke from the cigarette burns inside his throat, and when he blows it out, he coughs a bit. Thankfully, it’s the end of it, and he doesn’t need to endure any additional burns like this. It’s somewhat funny to him, that he  _ has _ to go through the smoking process, when he’s the one that initializes it.

He chugs down the last drop of beer, and flops into the harsh futon. It’s not very long until he’s asleep, after all it has been some very excruciating days since Taekwoon left. Badass climbs onto Wonshik’s belly and rests his head, closing his eyes slowly after a yawn.

“Yeah, little one.” Wonshik’s strained and raspy voice whispers warmly, “I’m tired too.” 

The pup makes a confused noise in reply, but a few moments later, the white furry lump is asleep.

_ I hope that Taekwoon is okay too _ , he mentally speaks to the puppy, as if anyone- let alone the pup, would understand this odd feeling of missing a person that was intensely introduced to his life.

“Good night..” He eventually moans out and drifts off to a dreamless sleep. He has a little more than seven hours till he has to wake up at 6AM for work. Those days are rare.

  
  


_ Message from TaekwoonHyung, 00:13: _

_ Can you pick me up? Please? _

 

_ Message from TaekwoonHyung, 01:25: _

_ Wonshik? _


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work is really stressing me out, but I had this idea in my mind for pretty long and wanted to get it out. Please enjoy, and don't worry - I will update again by the weekend.

The first place he enters after leaving Jongup dumbfounded, on the sofa, is surprisingly, a church. He never was a very religious man, aside from his early years when his mother dragged him along to church every Sunday.

It's wonderfully silent, and the lack of people relax him greatly. It's only him, and a few more homeless, or drunk people, catching their night's sleep on the hollow rows of the church. He sits down on the second row, finally taking off the sweater's cap, and the rain-soaked fabric wets the seat. He runs his cold hand over his face, bringing himself back to reality.

Taekwoon looks up to the pretty paintings around the church, and his eyes lock eventually on the burning flames of candles that probably won't withstand much more. He lets out a breath he was holding while running, and snatches his phone from the jacket's pocket.

 

33 unanswered calls from Jongup.

 

Usually, he'd be fearful, but there's no time for that now. No need either. Jongup can't reach him. He can't.

It makes him wonder since when his love turned to fear, and his care turned to the will to please the other at all costs. His eyes fall to his shuddering hands. There are still bruises there. He drags the sleeves down, taking in the sight of scars that remind him to stay grounded. 

Jongup can't hurt him anymore, right? He ran away. He isn't there, and Jongup can't find him.

His phone falls from the shaking limbs, and that causes him to look around. Aside from a few sleep-induced groans, no one wakes up from the thud. He picks it up, and mindlessly looks up a number that scares him much more than Jongup.

 

_ Sent to Wonshik, 00:13: _

_ Can you pick me up? Please? _

 

His heart is like a drum between his ears, marching harshly. Who else should he contact? His family?

No, they'd make a whole story of this, and it's the last thing he wants at the moment. He needs solace, he needs silence, he need  _ acceptance _ .

The only ones to give him such things were Hakyeon and Wonshik, and no matter how much he's scared about being accepted to their embrace he is, they're the only hope he has.

Time ticks by, and the only change in the grounds he's currently observing, is the position the homeless are sleeping in. He gives out an exhausted breath and gets up.

He can't stay in one place, not when he's this restless. The stern touch from Jongup's lips still haunts him, and he shudders both due to stepping out to the stormy night, and the memory of something that becomes less and less pleasant.

 

Taekwoon walks with no specific way he heads towards. He hasn't been in this area of the city, and the unfamiliar curves and turns of the streets are becoming more and more wicked, towering above him like a brick cage. What was he thinking when he ran? He owns so much to Jongup, for his love and trust, for taking him in like that, and tolerating Taekwoon. He's not surprised that Wonshik doesn't answer him. He must be unbearable like Jongup drew him to be. 

Taekwoon bites his frozen lips, and hushes those thoughts. No--- it can't be like that. Wonshik wanted him there, and Hakyeon seemed so genuine about his worry. It can't be that Jongup is the only one that doesn't hate him.

 

_ Sent to Wonshik, 01:25: _

_ Wonshik? _

 

Droplets of cold rain start staining his screen, so he puts away the phone, and runs to find shelter. He finds it at a nearby store, not before he gets soaked completely. He secures himself between crossed arms and hopes it'd be enough to warm him. His phone buzzes, and it isn't a call. It's a message.

 

_ Message from Wonshik, 01:57: _

_ Where are you? _

 

He's thankful that the man asks no questions, and also very fearful. God-- the debt he owns the younger starts to become great. Greater than he can imagine.

As Taekwoon types the reply with shaking digits, he's not aware. Before he can finish the message, a hand comes around his mouth, while another pulls harshly at his hair. He recognizes the touch, and the phone falls from his hands. He tries to scream. It's pointless.

“What the fuck Taekwoon.” Jongup growls. 

Taekwoon blacks out after feeling something meet harshly with his head. It's probably Jongup, after all- this is all too familiar.

  
  
  


Badass growls at his owner playfully, but with some irritation, as the man suddenly woke up, and by that, woke the pup too.

The red haired brushes away sleep from his eyes. It's far too late, and Taekwoon is contacting  _ him _ . He lights up a cigarette, and the smoke reminds him that he isn't dreaming, and that it's in fact, all very real. When he's done smoking, he heads downstairs, entering Hakyeon's place. The older is still awake for some reason -- and watches TV. Wonshik can't understand this who decide to waste precious time that's meant to be spent on sleeping, on anything else than that. However, that's for a different conversation.

“Shikie?” Hakyeon cocks his head from the sofa, “What's wrong?”

“Taekwoon-hyung sent me a message.” He tells him, and even though Hakyeon hates it when Wonshik smokes in his apartment, he lights another one. Something uneasy pulls at his heart, and there's a little voice in his mind, whispering the worst to him.

Hakyeon is up within a moment, “What does it say?” He reaches for Wonshik's phone and reads the simple lines a few times before putting it away.

“But that was at least an hour ago, what if..” Hakyeon mutters, and the younger is so strained he doesn't want to  _ think _ about it.  _ What if something happened to him _ .

“What should I do, hyung?” He cries out, lost as a puppy, “Should I go to his boyfriend's place? What if he isn't there? What if Jongup doesn't know where hyung is?”

“Go to Jongup, I'll try and reach Taekwoon's phone.” The older orders. Fear takes its place easily, and before they know it, the two are frantically looking for a man that might be fine, but past pains promise them otherwise.

Why would Taekwoon send such a message so late? And to  _ Wonshik _ , the one who refused to talk to him out of some unnamed emotion he can't figure out.

_ Please, don't let it be the worst. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to complain, I will dilligently listen to everything <3


	10. Day 1+2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read this with caution!   
> \+ Vivid descriptions of domestic abuse.  
> \+ Vivid descriptions of violence.  
> If you know you are sensitive to those subjects, please proceed with caution.  
> Other than that - dear readers, prepare for an emotional rollercoaster.

Jongup opens the door, and surprisingly, he isn't dashing to hit Wonshik like their last encounter. The red haired stares at him dumbfoundedly, and takes a few moments to recollect himself from the shock. It's nearly 3AM, but Jongup looks like he has been up all night, and not a single moment of sleep landed on him.

“What?” Jongup finally knocks Wonshik out of his daze.

“Uh,” He stutters, “Is Taekwoon-hyung here?” He asks, hoping that the man won't rip him apart for the question. It's not like Wonshik can't defend himself, he doesn't want to get to that point. He promised himself, and Hakyeon not to get into trouble, again.

“He went to his parents.” Is all Jongup answers. There are some soft noises from within the apartment, and for a second, Wonshik can see the other's face shift uncomfortably.

“It's our dog.” He tells Wonshik, and slams the door shut, locking it quickly after.

Wonshik frowns. Could it be that he just had some bad moments at his parents? 

  
  


“It could be.” Hakyeon consorts the younger, “Come back home, let’s wait until tomorrow. Anyhow, I’ll ask  _ that _ asshole tomorrow on set where is Taekwoonie.” He hangs the call, and Wonshik is yet again on his own. It sounds so wrong to him, for Taekwoon to send those messages out of the blue, and then his phone dies. Whatever the reason is, whether he’s at his parents, or having a fight with his boyfriend again, it makes Wonshik concerned. He knows the types of people like Taekwoon, and they tend to stay at their abused position, unless someone pulls them out.

  
  


Jongup lets an exahusted breath. 

“I told you to keep quiet.” He says, impossibly calm. After locking the door, he runs a hand in his hair, and walks slowly towards the living room. The frightened and wet lump is still there. He cocks his head to the side and takes in the view - Taekwoon, with the most scared eyes he ever witnessed is still, tied by zip ties, and tape. Taekwoon wants to swallow, but doesn’t want to make a move that will make his boyfriend even more angry than before.

This is why defying the rules never ends well. This is why Taekwoon should have stayed. This is why Taekwoon has to listen.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Jongup grabs at his face, what earns him a fear-induced intake of breath. The older clasps his eyes shut, not wanting to see if anything else happens. God, how did it become like this? Is this really what Taekwoon deserves?

“Open your eyes and look at me.” The other commands, and hesitantly, the tied one complies. His right eye doesn’t open completely, as it suffers from a severe blow just a little below the brow. Maybe it’s broken, but pain is a luxury Taekwoon doesn’t have right now. It’s only fear.  _ Only fear _ .

“Why did you have to run away, Woon-ah?” Jongup cries out, and when he sees the tears rolling out of the younger’s eyes, Taekwoon couldn’t be more surprised.  _ This man is unstable _ , he thinks, and allow him to hug him tightly. For how long he will have to do this? 

Taekwoon isn’t sure.

  
  


It’s raining again, and Hakyeon is doing his best to hide beneath the tents, before the shooting starts. He forgot his umbrella - thanks to Wonshik’s rat - and now his coordinators are working with no stop on drying his hair. He checks his phone if there’s anything new, and just as he assumed - nothing changed. There’s still no sign of Taekwoon. He hasn’t replied to his messages, and he sent various, such as - “Just call me when you can, please!”, or - “Send a dot.. Or anything.. We’re worried sick…”

But there’s no reply whatsoever.

It takes a good 15 minute session to dry Hakyeon’s thick locks, and the moment he’s free, he takes someone’s umbrella and rushes to Jongup’s tent. The man is there, thankfully, looking calm. Hakyeon finds it odd, but even demons have to rest from time to time. 

“Where’s Taekwoon?” He asks in a hurry, and Jongup simply sighs.

“At his parents. Didn’t your friend tell you?” 

“He did. I just don’t really believe you, unlike Wonshik.”

“That’s not my problem.”

Hakyeon frowns, then growls. 

“Why isn’t he answering my messages?”

“I don’t know,” Jongup muses, “Have you maybe considered he doesn’t  _ want _ to talk to you?” 

“Then why would he ask Wonshik to pick him up?”

“I don’t know!” Jongup suddenly roars, jerking up and knocking some clutter off the table, “I’m not his babysitter, and neither are you. He’s a grown man that can take of himself, and he doesn’t  _ need _ you. “

So much for getting a real answer from Jongup. Hakyeon sighs. 

“If you’ve done something to him-”

“I haven’t done anything!” Jongup pushes Hakyeon back, screaming at him. The older stares at him dumbfoundedly. Going physical was never his thing, it’s always Wonshik that does this. Hakyeon finds fighting repulsive and immature. There’s no point to it, either. After all, words hurt a lot more.

“Touch me again,” Hakyeon says in a low and dangerous tone, his eyes becoming darker than before, “And I promise you will stay jobless. No one wants to work with an immature piece of shit that can’t control himself around people.” 

He warns, and waits.

Jongup clenches teeth and knuckles, but his staff seem to talk him out of coming close to Hakyeon again. The electricity in the air however, hasn’t died. It’s heavy and vibrant like lightning, and there’s nothing that can be done to remove it, so the older walks away, taking half of it with him.

 

The other half is still burning Jongup’s pride.

  
  
  


He spent at least three hours in trying to free a hand from the zip tie. Since his legs are tied too, there’s not much he  _ can _ do, but that doesn’t prevent him from trying. The pain starts kicking in when the source of fears walks out, so every movement he wants to make is at least three times harder to do. Somehow, he managed to sit up on the sofa, and his cat snuggles next to him warmly. It’s not doing much, but it’s comforting to know there’s at least someone that knows what he’s going through. This morning, when Jongup woke up, hugging Taekwoon tightly, he took him to the toilet and  _ guided _ him to the toilet, watching and helping him if needed - since Taekwoon can’t do anything. Degrading is an understatement for what Jongup does to Taekwoon, and only at this point, he starts understanding how broken they are. How unstable Jongup is.

He needs to get out before he dies, because this-- whatever this is, it isn’t love. Perhaps obsession, but Taekwoon’s mind is too full of thinking how to get out to dig any deeper in that matter. His bruised wrists remind him that.    
His bruised wrists, his black eye, his colorful ribs, back and legs. All  _ because _ of Jongup. It’s the first time in an eternity that Taekwoon blames someone but himself for all this pain. He can hear his phone buzzing from the kitchen, and he wants to go there, answer and let  _ someone _ know where he is. 

  
  


Taekwoon is still on the sofa when Jongup returns late at night with dozens of different alcohol bottles and sinks right next to him, startling him.    
“Why do you love me?” Jongup asks, and the other couldn’t answer even if his lips weren’t sealed. A bottle is opened, and the younger takes a long chug of what smells like vodka. The strong scent repulses Taekwoon, and he wants to puke of it, but the acid taste stays in his mouth and goes up to his blown nostrils.   
“I’m a terrible man, Taekwoon. I have no reason to be terrible besides my own whims. I just like getting what I want.” He tells the older, and there’s no reply, still. Another drag from the bottle, and Taekwoon thinks it’s half done - but he isn’t sure. He doesn’t have to guts to look at his direction.   
“I’m childish. I’m immature. I’m hurting people  _ because it’s fun _ .” At any other time, Taekwoon would have hugged him, hushed him and told him something sympathetic. But this, this is different. Jongup leans towards him, and smoothly yanks away the tape that has been covering his mouth. Taekwoon moans in pain, and the other’s hand shuts him. He’s trembling with tears - pain and shame as one. Things that Jongup would never understand, because he’s not capable of it.   
“I threw you out countless times, but you always came back to me. I can’t bear the thought that you  _ want _ to leave me. You’re the only stable thing in my life..” The younger confesses. Taekwoon wishes that he wouldn’t do that - he’s in such a vulnerable place that any mishap could lead to a destructive conclusion.    
“I’m such a bad man…” Jongup suddenly cries out, clinging onto Taekwoon, and wetting his stench-enriched shirt. He hasn’t changed since two days ago.

Taekwoon has no choice but to stay still.

  
  
  


“Shikie, please quit this.” Hakyeon pleads for the third time, but Wonshik is still moving from one side of the room to the other, marching with a cigarette in his hand. He’s not even smoking it, rather than his mouth is too busy toying with the iron stub in his tongue. A bad habit he picked when he’s nervous.    
“Shikie, what did he tell you yesterday? He didn’t hit you, right?” Hayeon tries to reason, and it drags out some attention from the younger.   
“He told me that hyung is at his parents.” He says, and there’s silence for a while. The air is thick, and the mat smoke engulfs the house in a strange aura.   
“But hyung,” Wonshik stops, “Taekwoon-hyung doesn’t have a dog.”   
“What?” Hakyeon fails to follow,   
“Taekwoon-hyung doesn’t have a dog, he has a cat.” Wonshik declares, eyes wide as if realising the missing piece, “He doesn’t have a dog!”   
“What are you talking about?” The older asks, and seeing how worked out the other is about this matter, he stands up, following him visually.   
“I heard some noises when I came there yesterday, and Jongup told me it’s their  _ dog. _ Taekwoon-hyung told me he has a cat.”   
“Where are you going with this?” Hakyeon eyes him curiously, hoping that what he’s assuming isn’t right.   
“I think..” Wonshik mumbles, “I think I heard Taekwoon-hyung.”   
“Oh my god, Shikie.” Hakyeon gasps, and runs to take his car keys, not even bothering to ask Wonshik to join. He knows he will.   
  
  
  
Jongup falls asleep easily after busting a couple of full bottles. Somewhen in between, Taekwoon nodded when the other asked whether he would stay if he frees him from the ties. However, his phone is hidden away from him, so Taekwoon has no option but to scramble his way out, physically.   
He moves Jongup’s heavy hands that were on him, and takes an experimental step. A great shot of pain rushes through him - he must have misplaced another joint on his legs. He can see some shifting on the sofa, but no other reaction than that.   
The cat walks next to him, rubbing itself against his hurt leg, and quietly, Taekwoon tries to hush it away. He takes a few more steps until he reaches the door. His shoes are there, but he doesn’t think of taking them. He just wants out and away.   
He unlocks the first lock out of three, and checks behind him on Jongup. No reaction.   
The second one below it unlocks just as easily, and Jongup stays still.    
As he lays hands on the third, there’s a loud thud, and the sounds of broken glass fill the room. In panic, he sees the cat standing proud next to a broken bottle. Every muscle in his body freezes when he hears low huffs, and the man he’s scared of most, moves, indicating that he’s slowly waking up.   
Taekwoon swallows, and without thinking unlocks the third lock, yanking the door open and running limply out. He can hear an enraged yell, what makes him hurry to the stair faster. Jongup is after him, he hears it. Taekwoon makes a leap to the stairs, and tries to go down some, before he is grabbed harshly by the collar. He spits out, and gasps at the choke.    
“Please-” He cries, rasping. He’s hung by his collar over the stairs, air escaping his lungs quickly. Jongup yanks him back to the floor, and his head suffers another blow. He’s bleeding, but he’s far more scared to care.    
“Let me go..” He whispers, feeling the smallest he has ever been.   
“After I poured my heart out?” Jongup yells, “After I told you everything?” The one standing is crying, out of sheer rage, and Taekwoon knows he will suffer more pain soon enough.   
He tries to put his arms around his head protectively, hoping it will help against what’s about to come.   
One, two, three - four blows to his face, his jaw clenched out of agony. He has no power to fight back, and the room seems to be turning. He expects the fifth one, but it never comes.   
  
He can hear only a thin static sound between his ears, blocking any other noises. Everything seems to slow down, and it takes him a few more minutes to register what’s happening, and a few more to believe it.   
Wonshik is beating Jongup.    
Jongup is clearly losing.   
Hakyeon is next to him, asking something in a shout. Taekwoon turns to him, and his eyes are focused on the man’s lips, trying to understand, but either time moves too slow, or Hakyeon speaks frantically.   
At some point, there’s other men around, wearing blue uniforms, and some others wearing white ones. Taekwoon can’t follow much, so he shallowly stares at the scene. Someone helps him up, and he thinks it’s Wonshik. They’re taking him, somewhere - he isn’t sure. Maybe a hospital? The sounds are still very fuzzy, like underwater.   
  
But as long as he can see Wonshik next to him, he knows he’ll be okay.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how does the saying goes? You have to hit rock-bottom before you will be able to go up. :)


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It comes out kind of long, but I promise some nice things there!

It starts with a chortle, airy and melodic just like his voice. Then, it turns to be a laugh, echoing and contagious- ringing through the room like bells. Taekwoon has to take another breath due to the threat of choking, but his laughter doesn't cease. He can't- not when in front of him the sight is so ridiculous.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want.” Wonshik frowns, and drags his wet self to the other side of the room, heavily. The younger stomps after the white lump that runs around rapidly, making its escape from its owner's clutches. After a long lecture from both Hakyeon and Jaehwan, Wonshik had no choice but to bathe the poor dog, much against his wishes. 

Taekwoon offered help, but Wonshik declined, saying that's it's something he has to learn to do anyway. And now, at this moment- he's doing terribly.

It didn't take long for Badass to understand that he's going into water, and that water is bad, and draining Wonshik is good, so he did exactly that. He jumped out the shallow bucket, and after a fight with Wonshik, he escaped to the second room in the attic, where Taekwoon is sitting.

The scene is laugh-worthy, something that Taekwoon is still getting used to doing. It hurts, sometimes, since it has been only a week and a half since he got out of the hospital.

He fractured his skull in multiple places, but all is manageable to fix. Other than that, his eye lost some of its sharpness, and he was offered glasses to cover for that. For now, however he decided not to.

It's only when his last day at the hospital ended, did he realize that he has  _ no money whatsoever _ . He never had money. Not his own, anyway. 

Hakyeon generously paid the bill, and told him that he will get him a job for the time being. He could return the favor later. He's still unstable, still falling to such panicked states that he thinks he has lost his mind. But whenever it happens - there's always someone there.

 

“Just close the door!” He tells the younger, and Wonshik pouts.

“Hyung, it won't close!” He cries out, doing another lap to catch the pup, “You know how old this place is.”

“I'll help you.” Taekwoon calmly says, his voice is now always quiet and even. He stands up from the folded futon and takes an experimental step towards the wriggling puppy. He gives it a smile, and lays out his hands.

Badass runs to him, jumping up and down excitedly. The older turns to the other, carrying the dog in his arms, back to the bucket.

Wonshik follows, pride in devastation.

 

“The trial is two days away.” The younger mentions after a silence full while, “Have you talked to your father, yet?”

Taekwoon stops, hands still drowned in water, Badass wriggling between them.

“No.” Is all he says, “I haven't.” His voice final.

It's been going on and off, the talks of Jongup's trial. He is charged with assault, domestic violence, kidnapping, and economical violence. Talking with the authorities, Taekwoon might get his belongings, and maybe the apartment too, even though it's the last thing he wants.

Every single thing in that place smells, looks and reminds him of Jongup. There are still some trails of uncleanable, dried blood there. Those are memories Taekwoon could never wash down, but also doesn't want to remember each day.

Since Taekwoon's father is a police officer, the rumor about the trial, the arrest and hospitalization, got to the old man's ear quickly. Just a day after Taekwoon was released, he got a message from his mother, saying that they should talk, as a family. 

He never had much trouble with his parents, not as a child and not as a grown man, but this…

This is different.

He feels somewhat shameful turning to be a victim. Especially due to the fact his father is a police officer. It's regrettable, the whole story, but Taekwoon can't unwind the past, and make his old self less blind to Jongup's behaviour.

 

Things escalated pretty far since Hakyeon was there too. Several new channels went live to catch pictures and videos of the whole story, and upon seeing Hakyeon in the hospital too, the reporters went crazy. Taekwoon wasn't very much awake then, but he heard bits of it, and saw the report later on. He heard the endless questions thrown at the older; constant, attacking, some even accusing for no reason. He remembers hearing Hakyeon crying that  _ his friend _ is in a bad situation, and why can't they leave him alone. He remembers the panic in his voice, and the relief when the police came around and shooed everyone off.

By that point, he was completely out.

 

“I don't want to push, hyung..” 

“Then  _ don't _ .” Taekwoon cuts the other, “For once _ , I  _ can decide what to do with myself.” He tells the other and rises to his full height, watching the younger with pained eyes. Being Jongup's item took a toll on him, and rather a big one. It broke him, it broke who he was inside.

“My father doesn't have to know anything about what happened.” Taekwoon remarks bitterly, and somewhat angrily, “I don't need scolding, I've learned that I'm the one in fault well enough.”

Wonshik steps away from the pet, and catches Taekwoon's hand as the older starts walking away. The touch startles him, but it's enough for Wonshik to bring the bitterness out of Taekwoon, and snap him back to reality.

“I'm not your enemy, hyung. I'll never be.” Wonshik says, “So don't treat me like one, please.” He lets go of the hand.

“I have never done anything with intent to hurt you. Neither Hakyeon-hyung, Jaehwan-hyung, or anyone else  _ here _ .” The red haired seems somewhat disappointed, and that's the last thing Taekwoon needs to see and hear.

 

Without Wonshik he is alone.

When he's alone, he cries.

When he's alone, he's reminded of things that happened.

 

“I'm..” He stutters, “I'm sorry..” He mutters it under his breath, pupils dilating in fear. Wonshik can't be disappointed with him. Those who are disappointed leave, so he must be at his best all times. It's childish, somewhat, but it's the way things have always been.

He doesn't catch that he's trembling and crying untill Wonshik asks his premission to wipe away the tears. Taekwoon can't answer that, so he just looks at the other with startled eyes.

_ You're a disappointment _ , his mind whispers,  _ you're a burden _ .

 

“I don't know how to help you..” Wonshik says quietly, wiping tears away and holding onto the older as if holding for his dear life, “Tell me what should I do..”

Taekwoon can't answer that either.

He can't answer because he doesn't know.

 

“I've never done this before,” Wonshik confesses, “But I feel so damn worried about you all the time.”

“I'm sorry..” The words slip Taekwoon's lips so easily, much easier than saying anything else.

“No, no-” Wonshik pleads, “I didn't mean it like that. I want to worry about you. I want you to become well.” When he looks to the other's eyes, honesty flowing in his voice, it wakes Taekwoon from the destructive thoughts in his mind. He snaps his head up, finally returning the gaze.

“I- I don't know how..” The older ushers.

Wonshik nods.

Then, he engulfs the other in a hug, holding him like a glass bead that's about to break.

“It doesn't have to be now. We can take it slow.” The red haired makes a silent promise, and Taekwoon knows it.

Wonshik includes himself with Taekwoon, and that, and only that on it's own, already takes off half of Taekwoon's agony away.

He can rely on him.

Right?

 

* * *

 

 

There are some background noises in the apartment, and it relaxes his frayed nerves to some extent. He's been getting calls non-stop since the incident, and while his manager tried, and still tries to block the writers away, his phone has been buzzing continuously. Hakyeon thought of breaking the device a few times, with one time actually asking Jaehwan and Hongbin to take it away. Those two seem to spend more time with Hakyeon lately, and not that he's complaining, but they must have their jobs to attend.

He likes to think of his home as an orphanage, lately, considering all the people that nearly dwell in there. 

When Wonshik isn't upstairs, and taking care of Taekwoon, he's at work, where he works himself to the point he barely can stand on his feet. Hakyeon scolded him, but that's pointless.

Maybe it's just his getaway from the whole thing.

 

Hakyeon opens the small red and white carton, and guiltily grasps for a cigarette. It has been a very long time since he smoked, but his nerves-- good, his nerves won't settle down. Even when he finally falls to bed, relaxing and trying to sleep, it's pointless and worthless, because he simply  _ can't _ .

 

Hongbin snatches the cigarette away, and draws it to his lips.

“Bad habit, hyung.” He tells Hakyeon. With the other's visuals it's unbelievably hard to see the man smoke. He looks like an innocent child, with golden locks and round, deer-like eyes. The stench and smoke just seems so out of place. 

“I am your  _ hyung _ , Binnie.” The older retaliates, “Don’t you think you're being disrespectful?” He teases, and takes another one, this time for himself.

Oh, if Wonshik would have seen him now.

 

“Being disrespectful to elders is sort of my job, hyung.” He jokingly tells him, “They like it that way.” 

Hakyeon used to be uncomfortable with the type of  _ jobs _ Hongbin does. They met for the first time on-set, as Hongbin was cheering on an older noona that Hakyeon had a job with. She was about 30 years old, he even remembers that she portrayed someone’s mother at some point, but can’t quite recall anything but that.    
At another time, he saw Hongbin with a different woman, older than him as well. Hakyeon isn’t the type of person to judge others’ taste in partners, but he is the type to be curious and inquisitive. It took two whole years of friendship for Hongbin to tell him the truth.   
He wasn’t dating all those noonas because he loved them- no, it was simply for the spending money they gave him. That wasn’t something Hakyeon was prepared for, but since then and up until this very moment, he couldn’t come and think of it through, so he just left it as is.

 

“Well, I am not one of your noonas.” He jokes back, taking his first drag of the cigarette. It feels wonderful, but oh-so guilt filled, “And I don’t like my dongsaengs being disrespectful, it isn’t really my taste.”

“Oh, then what is your taste? You never told me!” 

Thank god Hakyeon has this man to take his mind off the pressing matters.

“I like them.. Kind.” He smiles, not that signature flashy smile, rather than a warm grin, “And hopelessly romantic, too.”

“Yuc. You sound so old, hyung. That’s why you can never get a date.”

That earns Hongbin a smack on the back of his head. It turns to be a quick session of one chasing the other, running around the spacious rooms until they can no more.

Breathless, hot and sweaty, they sit on the floor, trying to catch their breath.

It’s been awhile since Hakyeon had something like this. 

 

Hongbin turns to the older, a playful grin accommodating his dimples, “Hyung,” He huffs out, “You’re really not in shape-” He teases, still trying to catch his breath.

“You’re not the one to talk!” Hakyeon retaliates.

 

“Should I come back later? Am I interrupting something?” Jaehwan finally makes himself noticeable.

The two turn their glances to the other, astonished at his silent entrance. Jaehwan isn’t really the one to keep quiet like this, but Hakyeon guesses that he has done it only to look at their startled expressions.

“What are you doing here?” Hongbin asks, “Hyung?” He adds. He’s still trying to be respectful, as it doesn’t come off naturaly.

“I’ve been calling Hakyeon-hyung, but you didn’t pick up, so I just got here.” Jaehwan replies, and while usualy he’d make a snarky comment on Hongbin’s behaviour, he seems to be thinking of something else.

“What’s wrong?” Hakyeon rises from the floor, and watches as Jaehwan hands him some papers. At first, he thinks it’s another script that his manager passed through his friends, yet again. However, upon looking closely, and seeing how daunted Jaehwan looks, he realises it’s nothing of that kind. 

It’s an invitation, to show at court. 

Jongup is being judged for all of his crimes just a few days away, and he hoped to stay out of it as much as he can. After the non-stopping questions being fired at him, he wants to back away, and stay away from the public’s eye.

However, he was invited, and so is Wonshik. They’d have to explain everything that happened that night, and Hakyeon doesn’t think he  _ can _ . He was so overwhelmed, and the intense situation caused his adrenaline to remove some spots of memories. He just doesn’t know, but he will have to do his best for his friends.

 

“Why do you have that?” Hakyeon asks, and it sounds angry, but Jaehwan knows the anger is not towards him. He sighs, and drops his gaze.

“Your manager asked for you to give an interview beforehand. He got the papers before they could deliver them here, and when I saw him, I took them.” Jaehwan sighs again, and this time, looks up, “Hyung, I’m sorry that it has to be this way.”

“This isn’t your fault, Jaehwannie.” Hakyeon says, calmly, but the fear and terror from giving an interview about something that isn’t really concerning him, already sink in his heart. They’d probably ask countless questions about Taekwoon, and that’s the last thing he needs right now.

“It’s not your fault..” He mumbles, and walks away to his bedroom, staring blankly at the floor, mind a thousand miles away.

 

“We were having fun!” Hongbin cries out to Jaehwan, “You had to ruin it!”

“Go cry about it to one of your noonas.” The older snaps, and heads out as well.

 

 

* * *

  
  


It’s the early morning, but it’s still dark, and the streets reek of rain. Not the cleansing type, the kind of rain that carries smoke and polluted air with it. The kind of rain that when dries, covers everything in a thick layer of dust and grime. Even the black cars that try to overrun the motorcycle, are under a blanket of filth. Wonshik woke up extra early today, to make sure he’d get out of work early as well. He has some shopping to do, and hopefully write the cheque to pay the rent, too.

He parks the motorcycle nearby, and heads to the office and lockers. That’s where his boss catches him, and drags him to his office. Inside, there’s another person, just a tad taller than Wonshik. He has brown locks, clean and organized, and an innocent-looking expression.

“Wonshik,” The old man says with a smile, “This is the new addition to the team. He’s my friend’s grandson, and she asked from me to let him work here.”

Wonshik eyes the man next to him, he can’t be much over 20, but his height is delusive to deduct such things.

“I want you to take care of him. Show him how you work and what you do.” The old man says, and Wonshik doesn’t have much choice but to agree.

  
  


The new addition follows him just like Badass follows him around the house. It’s nice when it’s his puppy but this-- this is annoying, distracting and unhelpful.

“Stop.” He turns around and rasps out, just to see that the taller is looking at him with a perplexed expression. Wonshik thinks he’s dressed far too nice to work in here, and that his hands are far too soft for this as well. Nothing about him says mechanic, but on the other hand- people used to think that about him back at the time.

“What?” Wonshik frowns. He has been looking at him oddly for the last few minutes he has been trailing him around the workspace.

The other turns to look to the side, plays with his fingers uncomfortably, then finally asks.

“Where did you get those tattoos? And the piercings? Are they real?” He blasts the other with questions, overflowing so much that Wonshik can’t follow through, and stands there dumbfoundedly, “How long did you work here? Do you usually get nice customers? Did you study anywhere?”

“ _ Stop! _ ” Wonshik shouts, then latches his hand to the other’s mouth, shutting him up physically. He’s irritated to say the least. It’s enough to have Hongbin as a disrespectful dongsaeng, but this-- this is an interrogation Wonshik has no will to make.

“Stop, okay?” The red haired moves his hands slowly, and goes back. The other doesn’t look frightened, which is already a different reaction from most people that decide to annoy Wonshik.

“Okay, okay.” The other laughs, “You should have seen your expression, though. You look like you could kill a man--”

Wonshik sighs, and walks to his station.

“ _ Could.. _ ” He mumbles under his breath.

 

The skies change colours, from darkness, to greyness, to darkness once again, and when the clock reaches 5PM, Wonshik sighs in content. It’s over. 

As he heads to the motorcycle, he hears the same footsteps that he has been hearing the whole day long follow him. He stops.

“What?” He turns once again, and it doesn’t matter that rain starts washing over the place again. He will stand there and wait.

“You’re leaving?” The younger asks.

Wonshik doesn’t answer, he’s waiting for the other to get to the point.

“Oh, well, I just wanted to say thank you.” He says with a smile, “I’m not very experienced in this, but you make everything look easy.”

Wonshik raises an eyebrow, and unfolds his clenched arms.

“My name is Han Sanghyuk, by the way.” He tells him, “I’ll be going now, hyung!” He waves, and runs off.

 

“Wait!” Wonshik stops him, and for the first time today, it doesn’t sound completely annoyed.

Sanghyuk halts, and stares at the other, cocking his head to the side.

“I’ll drive you to the bus stop.” 

They don’t argue about that, and Sanghyuk happily accepts the offer.

 

The following day, is the day before the trial, and sadly, Wonshik has to work as well.

“Hyung!” Sanghyuk calls happily, and Wonshik approaches.

“Hyung, thank you for yesterday.” He smiles, and it looks too innocent to fit to such an annoying man, “I knew you’re actually nice under all this grumpy aura!”

Wonshik snorts a laugh, “I only did it because it was raining, don’t misunderstand.” He says, and leaves to his locker.

Sanghyuk frowns. There must be another way to make this hyung to like him.   
  


 

* * *

 

 

He closes his eyes, and someone, thankfully someone that isn’t him is nurturing the mild headache residing behind his temples. The musky fragrance of Jasmine and fabric softener tells him that it’s Jaehwan that appeared for the moral support. Hakyeon didn’t look this tired for quite a while, and he has to make the interview today. It’s the last day before they finally have an ending for this horror story.

“You arrived.” Hakyeon smiles, but it’s weak and unmeaningful.

“Who else would, hyung?” Jaehwan jokes, his hands slide slowly to the older’s shoulders, then join one another in a back hug. The smell of Jasmine overflows Hakyeon’s senses, and for a sole moment he thinks he could do this. He leans back to the warm and soft coat Jaehwan currently sports. Even if it’s just for a short while, Hakyeon wants to rest, and he always finds some peace in the small gestures that go on and off between them.

It’s odd, but he can be weak only before Jaehwan, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.

“You’re going to do great.” The younger whispers, and the words originate so close to the other’s ear, he involuntarily shudders. It takes off some of the headache, and there’s not enough words in his lexicon to thank Jaehwan. 

When his manager barges in the room, Jaehwan pulls away at once, stepping aside. Hakyeon knows it’s time to do it, but he feels less repulsive than before. 

His hair looks just right, his face looks just right, his choice of clothes is also - just right. And the presence next to him, the support he gets from the younger is too, just right. He makes a mental note to thank Jaehwan properly when they get the chance to do that. They exchange charged gazes, unknown to both of them what exactly stands behind the expression, and what feeling originates this kind of behaviour. Only then, Hakyeon steps out to meet the numerous writers.

Jaehwan escapes the scene from behind, but he knows it’s going to be alright.

Hakyeon is talented in talking, so he has no doubt at all.

 

* * *

  
  


Taekwoon takes a deep breath, and finally musters the courage to make the call. His stuttering fingers are just an extension of his torpid state. Everything he does is listless, and has been this way since the morning, when he woke up alone on the futon. He walked Badass, then returned to make some sort of acceptable food, and then realised he has nothing to do. It’s not that there aren’t things to be done, but he has to be as passive as he can today. Just for today -- the calm before the storm.

A lawyer already visited and explained that they will be asking questions, and upon going over the set of queries, Taekwoon realised he’s crying from trying to answer them. He took a few breaks until it was finally over. It’s excruciating more than anything, and requires intense amounts of energy that Taekwoon simply has no source for them.

After all that, he thought about what Wonshik told him about contacting his parents.

His father knows, there’s no doubt, but his mother, how is he supposed to tell her everything that happened? He doesn’t even have the right definition for his situation, nor to his feelings. However, he knows he can’t let it slide and it’d be best to talk.

 

“Hello?” A soft womanly voice answers, and Taekwoon freezes. The power he lacked before seem to escape his body completely and leave him a sitting stone.

“Woon-ah?” She asks through the speaker, and after blinking a few times, Taekwoon greets her.

“Mother..” He says quietly, as much as his voice permits him to be.

“Ah, Woonie, I missed you. You haven’t called for so long!” Taekwoon thinks she’s saying more things of a like, but his mind isn’t paying attention. 

_ She doesn’t know _ . He repeats constantly in his head.  _ She doesn’t know anything _ .

“How is Jongup? Is he doing well on his new drama?”

_ She doesn’t know _ . How can he explain everything?

“Mom..” He mumbles, “J-Jongup and I..” He’s nearly whispering now, “We broke up.” His voice cracks at the end, and the tears that were tucked away start overflowing, just like his countless emotions.

“Oh, Woonie..” She cooes, “It’s alright.”

“We- we broke up-” He cries out, choking on the cold tears, “We broke up-” He repeats like a broken record.

“It’s alright, Woonie..” She tries, “Come back home, it’s alright.”

Taekwoon continues crying, because he doesn’t know anything better. 

 

“Come back home.” She pleads.

Maybe he should. But not now. Now he has to pay back the kindness.

 

Now, he has to prepare for the trial tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So firstly, how did you like the chapter? I worked extra hard to upload on time!  
> On another note, I am going back to uploading a chapter every week, so be sure to check it out!  
> I hope you like where this is going, and the small Wontaek moment that were here, the cute moment between Jaehwannie and Hakyeonnie, and the FIRST TIME THAT HYUK IS ON THIS FIC WOO.  
> Also - Even though it was shown a little here, Hongbin's story will feature in this fic as well, don't worry. Each one gets his own background told, so I hope you're prepared for that!
> 
> Please comment below, and be sure to check the next part next week! <3


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, I made it! A chapter for this week as promised.

The rain taps furiously on the solemn window in the complex, and Taekwoon uses it do distract himself. He takes time in wearing the suit Hakyeon got him just a day before, unfolding every indent and stretching out the fabric before him.

It's nothing too special- just a black suit, but the last time Taekwoon had anything alike was at his graduation. He eyes the pricy fabric and smiles a little. It should cover everything.

“Hyung, are you ready-” Wonshik shouts from the bathroom, but halts when he sees the other standing motionless in front of the clothes.

Taekwoon doesn’t reply, instead, he keeps watching the fabric. It’s something he never thought he’d be doing, but _should_ be done.

“What’s wrong?” Wonshik comes closer, carefully watching the other’s expression.

A few moments pass before the older turns with a soft reminiscent smile.

“I’m ready.” He declares, picking up his suit and walking to change. Wonshik stays in the other room, dumbfounded, and he looks at his dog for answers. Badass cocks his head to the side and makes a confused  sound, and in reply, his owner shrugs.

 

Heavy knocks on the door pick his attention, and he heads quickly to open it.

“Kim Wonshik!” Hakyeon shouts, “Do you know how long am I waiting in the car? 15 minutes!” He yells, and steps inside, “Why do you make your hyung wait for you?”

Wonshik starts blabbering an answer, but the two quieten as Taekwoon steps out, wearing the black suit, with his dark hair pulled back and tied. He looks different, so different from before it’s alarming.

“Sorry,” Taekwoon says quietly to Hakyeon, “I was having trouble with the tie.” And walks past them, down the stairs.

 

There’s some sort of flame around him, Wonshik notices. It’s nearly intriguing to see Taekwoon become so vibrant, unlike the grey washed man he was before. They follow him out, no one saying a word.

Wonshik wants to see what Taekwoon will do.

 

* * *

  


He sits down in the office, with Hakyeon and Wonshik behind the door, absent from the room to his request. He feels uneasy, but somewhat determined to go through this.

“I’m going to ask you a few questions,” The man in front of him explains, sitting on the other side of the table with a notebook open before him, “I’ve got your file, but I need to know more, is that alright, Taekwoon?”

Taekwoon bites his lip to the sound of his name spoken by a stranger. It’s odd, but he could never get used to other people calling him by his name when they’re not close to one another. He nods nonetheless.

“Can you tell me how you and _him_ met?”

Taekwoon closes his eyes. He does remember bits of it, since it was nearly 4 years ago.

“I was studying for my degree, and he was a new student back then.” Taekwoon avoids speaking out Jongup’s name, “He didn’t know anyone, and I offered to help him. Then, he dropped out of school and decided to become an actor. I told him I have a crush on him, and he told me it’s mutual. Then..” Taekwoon trails off, trying to digest the memories, “We just started dating.”

The detective smiles warmly, soothingly, “Thank you.” He says, and Taekwoon doesn’t know why.

 

“How was the relationship at the beginning?” The older man asked.

The younger thought for a while, his eyes averting the other’s gaze. He looked at the table, finding many distracting little gadgets on it. It’s painful to remember those days, they were good memories turned back, rotten with time.

“He made me feel wanted for the first time in my life.” Taekwoon mutters silently, his hands picking on one another under the table, trying to cool off some of the sweat. He knew this would be hard, but it’s merely the third questions, and he still has time. There are probably so many other questions that he’d have to answer - for his own good - but he feels suffocated.

“He told me he would take care of me, and do anything for me.” The words cause his stomach to churn. He remembers them in _his_ voice, fresh like a bleeding wound, “He bought me things, and told me that I should move in with him. He really cared about me-” Then he corrects himself bitterly, “Acted like he cared. That was for a while, where everything was about making me feel wanted.”

 

“What happened later?”

 

Taekwoon drops his gaze, “He.. told me that if I really cared about him like he cared about me, I should give my everything to him.” He swallows.

“And I believed him. I thought doing less than everything would be ungrateful, and I think-” He frowns, “I think it was because of the way he treated me at the beginning.”

 

* * *

  


Hakyeon’s eyes are crossing from the man pacing back and forth in front of him.

“Shikie, stop it.” He whispers, but loudly enough for the other to hear, “I’m as nervous as you are, but you can’t keep on going like this.” The older scolds.

Wonshik halts, then passes a hand through his red fiery hair and taking his tongue piercing between his teeth. He looks out of place - a man tattooed and with colourful hair, along with piercings standing in a grey suit in the office. He looks misfited, and it picks on his nerves even more. He isn’t quite sure why he’s behaving like this, he only knows he does, and he isn’t sure where the will to go through everything for someone he doesn’t know really well comes from, he just knows it’s there.

“It’s been an hour and a half.” He tells Hakyeon, who is sitting on the offered chairs in the waiting room. There are other people there as well, each one with their individual story, or so Hakyeon believes.

“I know, Shikie, and I know you’re stressed, but please remember it’s for Taekwoon. The agent said it could take up to five hours.” He tries to calm the younger to no avail. Wonshik finally sits next to Hakyeon, but chews on his fingers instead. Hakyeon winces at that, since Wonshik _is a mechanic and it’s disgusting_ , but chooses not to say a word.

 

* * *

  


“Did you feel like you didn’t have a choice?” The man, which at this point, Taekwoon notes his name is Jung Yunho asks him.

“No.. not initially.” Taekwoon says calmly, as if nothing of this is bothering him. As if nothing about those memories drives him mad and makes him want to hide for good. To drop the case. To just go back to Jongup and tell him that he’s sorry, and he just wants his boyfriend back, like they used to be.

Yunho allows him to take his time to answer.

“I believed that I’m being ungrateful, that Jongup has done so much for me that’s it’s only natural I’d do this for him, when in reality I don’t..” He takes a deep breath, “I don’t think he did all that much for me.”

“What did he do for you?” Yunho writes something down his notebook, and Taekwoon focuses on trying to read it backwards while answering.

“He always got me new clothes, every week or two, and he took me to a hairdresser often, saying I will look and _feel_ much better after this.” Taekwoon looks away from the written words, “I think.. I think in the end he did all of those things just for his sake.”

Yunho nods, and writes down another line.

 

“Thank you for everything. Let’s take a break before we continue? I bet your friends are nervous.” Yunho smiles warmly, and stands up, gesturing for Taekwoon to do the same, “Do you think 15 minutes will do?”

Taekwoon nods and leaves.

 

* * *

  


When he wakes up, the lady that was next to him last night isn’t there. He makes a muffled groan, and turns to face the other side, groggily. He spots her, doing her makeup - which he thinks is ugly but never said so - and she spots him waking up.

“Did you sleep well?” She asks in a loving voice, smacking her lips on one another, spreading the horrendously coloured lipstick on them. Hongbin nods, trying to appear as angelic as possible, he knows this one likes it.

“Did you, noona?” He asks as well, leaning on his arms to take a look at her. She’s been great so far, very lenient with him spending money, and he didn’t have to do much. She wanted him to come with her every now and then to her house, where she’d invite all of her friends and their respected dates, gossiping and bragging about her life. Hongbin on the other hand, would have to join the guys in the balcony, either offered to smoke with them - which he always denied, or join in a conversation about football. He likes football, so he cares less about that, but the life she’s leading is so fake it’s like intervening with a doll house.

She gave him her credit card pretty quickly, telling him that her _sweetheart_ should be able to get himself whatever he likes. So he did, still does.

“Yes, I always sleep well with you, Hongbin.” She replies, and brushes her short dark hair. She’s probably leaving to work at the TV station soon, which is Hongbin’s cue to go home as well.

“But Binnie, you’ve been spending awfully lot lately.” Oh, he doesn’t like the sound of that, “Let’s cut down in the expenses, alright? Make it from three million won to two?”

He hums as an answer, and watches her blankly as she leaves.

He’d have to find a new noona to court soon.

 

Hongbin has been doing this for a while, and he knows, _he knows_ his life shouldn’t look like this. He knows he should find a stable job, do something he likes and get married like everyone. Live off his own money.

But this is too easy. He’s good looking, and his charisma is well endowed, so he finds himself easily running into one desperate noona from another. They’re all playing pretend, all so desperate for love and other things Hongbin can never give them. So for now, he’s just their pretend-boyfriend.

Some call it prostitution, but he doesn’t want to think of it that way. He wants to think he’s filling someone’s gap and gets payed for that. Even though he _knows_ how wrong it is. He never thought of himself as a man of virtue.

 

Still groggy, he finds a taxi home, his apartment not very far from Hakyeon’s. It’s as big as the older’s, and far more decorated. He throws his clothes to the laundry bag, and after changing into fresh ones, ones that don’t reek of the other woman, he sits down to drink coffee. It’s easy living like that.

Around an hour later he texts a friend, asking whether he’d like to meet, but the other declines, saying he has to work. Right, Hongbin has to work too.

 

He takes his time in finding a good pair of top and bottom that match up and bring out his defined muscles, but also don’t make him look too much like an adult. He settles for a white button shirt, with dark purple pair of tight pants. He throws over himself an expensive coat, cream coloured, and turns to fix his hair.

This noona likes pulling at his hair a lot, and he always ends up with it being messy like that. Each time, he’d spend at least an hour placing it back and make it look more alive.

He doesn’t really care for doing any makeup this time, rather then only covering up some mundane  blemishes. He looks good, and it’s easy to look good like that, so he goes out to an excessively pricy coffee shop, where he’d usually find more noonas.

 

He has about four noonas right now, each one asking him to be something else, each one pretending to be something else, and with ease, he fits into the role. Acting as their boyfriend of a long time, acting as a newly found lover - each one with her own story she fits Hongbin into. Each one grants him with her dazzling credit card, and allows him to get whatever he wants because he treats them well enough. That’s what he wants to think.

 

* * *

  


As soon as Taekwoon walks out, Wonshik drags him with outside, so Wonshik could smoke. While the older looks relatively calm, even though somewhat pale, Wonshik looks _buzzing_. He looks like he could run for a marathon if he’d want to because of the energy rushing through him.

“How did it go? Was he nice, hyung?” Wonshik asks while lighting up a smoke, his eyes never leaving Taekwoon.

The older nods, and watches the rain still going around them, it never stopped ever since the morning, “He just asks me a lot of questions.” He tells, “He’s really nice.”

“Good.” Wonshik breathes the smoke out, “Did he tell you anything about the trial, yet?”

“He only told me I don’t have to be there.” Taekwoon shrugs, and drops his gaze to his now wet shoes, “Are you alright?” He then directs at the younger, seeing how worked up he is.

Wonshik sighs, and a grey cloud comes with it, “I’m.. Worried.” He confesses, “I’ve never done anything like this before, but I want to do it.” He truthfully explains.

“You want to do it?”

“I don’t know why,” He bites his lip, “You make me want to do this.”

“I’m sorry..” Taekwoon replies automatically.

“No, no, it’s not a bad thing, I guess.” Wonshik looks at the dark sky and takes the last inhale of the cigarette, “I guess I’m just confused.” Is all he allows himself to reveal, and walks back inside.

  


Taekwoon finds himself sitting across Yunho once again not very long after. He doesn’t think to much about Wonshik’s words, not right now at least, because he has to be focused on something else.

“Did you catch up with your friends?” The investigator asks.

Taekwoon nods, and almost slips back to thinking about what Wonshik said.

“Let’s carry on. I promise this won’t be much longer, alright?”

He nods again.

 

“What did you do when he threw you out, you said before he did that multiple times, right?”

Taekwoon hums in reply, “I think it’s about five time he threw me out, and once that I ran away myself.

Yunho nods, “So what did you do? Did you go somewhere specific? Talked to someone?”

“No, I mean-” Taekwoon looks away again, “I went into a church each time, just because I never really been there. I didn’t talk to anyone, I just sat there, waiting for him to call me and tell me that I can come back.”

“You didn’t talk to your family?”

Taekwoon shakes his head, “He always told me that my family would be ashamed of me if they knew I’ve been thrown out, and that he’s the only one not ashamed enough to take me back in.”

The investigator nods, writes down something then looks up, “When he was upset with you, he’d hit you, correct?”

“Not all the time.. I tried to avoid getting hit as much as I could, so I did everything to please him.”

“When did he start hitting you?”

Taekwoon bites his lip, then speaks uneasily, quietly, “He introduced me to his friends one night, and I told him I don’t like them.” He explains timidly, “I told him I want him to go somewhere with them and let me sleep.”

Yunho nods, singing him to carry on.

“He told me I’m being disrespectful, and that’s why I have no one.”

“No one?” Yunho asks.

“No friends,” Taekwoon clarifies, “And he asked me if I know what it feels like to hear me saying those things. I said no.” He whispers, voice and body stuttering to the tension, “He dragged me to our bedroom, and while his friends were still there, he punched me really hard in the ribs.”

Yunho writes down as he speaks.

“Then, he dragged back to the living room and told me to keep quiet or he’s going to punish me again for mistreating him and being ungrateful.”

 

“Thank you Taekwoon.” Yunho sums it eventually, making the sum of hours he had to sit in that office and talk to a total of 5. The younger wonders if Wonshik and Hakyeon are still outside, but gets an answer for that as soon as he steps out and gets a hug from Hakyeon, and a worried look from the other. Taekwoon decides to deal with what Wonshik said later. Now, he just really wants to go home.

  


* * *

 

His eyes trail around the coffee shop, and settle on a few lonely ladies. One looks like she’s in her forties, and that’s too old for Hongbin, so he marks her out. Another one with a pretty smile and plump lips is alright, until she places a cigarette to her mouth. Hongbin doesn’t like that, so he crosses her out as well.

He’s left with two choices, both pretty noonas that look lonely, doing nothing but watching their phone in boredom and scrolling through what should be SNS. He chooses the closest one, a one that’s dressed in a luxurious yellow dress, and has a furry coat in black above it. Those aren’t really winter colours - Hongbin notes - but he can make do with that.

“Hi.” He smiles his playful smile, “Can I sit here, noona?”

She looks taken aback, they all do at the beginning. After a few seconds, she blurts him a positive answer and he goes through his regular routine of making it look like he’s _really_ interested in her. She buys it with no trouble, and they go to her apartment soon enough.

Her house is in Gangnam, and it’s been a while since he has been there with a noona, everything seem to change, as always. It’s a good choice, he thinks as he looks at the woman driving back home, she’s not very old, and probably stupid as all of his other noonas. She’d give into him easily, he just has to work a little longer.

 

By the end of the day, he returns home, after that woman - which name he can’t remember yet, offered to drive him but he declined. She seemed pretty dazed after Hongbin was done with her, and luckily, he got the question he was seeking after that day - “Can I see you again?”

With an innocent expression, he’d answer yes, waving her goodbye and acting clumsily on purpose.

He sinks into his sofa, and realises his evening is bare of events, what makes it a good time to shop around for the things he wants.

This time, he thinks about buying a car, which is a little more expensive than his usual spendings on designer clothes, but if he divides it with all of his credit cards, he can get away with it.

It’s easy, living this life.

 

But it’s awfully lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys liked Hyuk's interactions with Shikie, but sadly no Hyuk this one. :(  
> Also, I'm aware this chapter is slightly heavier than the other ones before, but don't worry, next chapter is going to be slightly lighter after JONGUP IS GOING TO GET HIS SENTENCE WOO  
> horray for Taekwoonie for speaking up!


End file.
